MOVED

I've decided to move my blog to another space. I will not delete this blog as so much have been wrote here.

Please continue to visit me HERE.

Thank you.

Cousins' Love

My migraine all gone when I met my two cousin this afternoon. It is true when some says the sickness is all in the mind. When I was with them, I did not think about my migraine at all. I just had my fun with them.

I love their company. We could really talk about anything. We just don't have to hide. We talked about our life. All of us are mothers now, so somehow we touched the topic on our children.

We always get free meal if we lunch with Linda. She will not accept our money to pay her back. She is one generous lady. May Allah grants her with more wealth.

I had my chance to romos Linda's girl, Nisa. Carried her, kissed her, hugged her, changed her diapers and also fed her milk. I simply love this little girl. And I know she loves me too.

Me feeding Nisa

And Nisa loves her Mama Lyn too.

I've Let Go

I've let go all the unwanted feelings. I feel my burden is lighter and feel so free. I do not wish to keep the negative feelings in my heart. It's all out now.

As I'm typing this, the migraine that started since yesterday night, still exist. My head is throbbing with pain. This morning I have started to sneeze a lot. So I accept that this week is my sick week. My body is clearing out all the negatives eons just like I've cleared all the negative feelings.

Despite the migraine, I will be meeting my two cousins, which I love so dearly, for lunch. I cannot just cancel this appointment as one of my cousins has taken leave from work for this lunch meeting. I do not want to disappoint her as much as I want to meet my cousins also. These two are my closest cousins and we went through a lot together.

My cousin will be bringing her little girl along and everyone knows how much I love babies. Babies are one amazing creature which I just want to hold and kiss them forever. All my three children have grown, but in my heart they are still my babies.

The Mixed Feelings

Right now, my feelings are all jumble up.

Sad, disappointed, anxious, happy, angry, hurt, worry, confident, empty, missing....

So many things happened after my last update.

I attended the two-days workshop by Shaykh Yahya Rhodus, and I can still hear his soft voice and remember the knowledge that he shared.

The feeling of being near with the people of Allah, Habib Umar,Shaykh Khalil Moore and others, is so indescribable.

The joy of having my sisters-In-Islam, inside Allah's houses, with the people of Allah, is beyond amazing. Speaking of my sisters-in-Islam, I am going to miss them terribly. My house is no longer a garden of Paradise on every Friday. And thinking of that, really makes me sad. But I am thankful that I have the chance to make my house a garden of Paradise, even though for a very short time. My house feels empty on Friday.

I can still hear the rhythm and beat at the Spiritual Jamming organized by SimplyIslam. Together with Shaykh Khalil Moore and Shaykh Usama Cannon, the Qasidah and Selawat. The du'a. The best part was, my husband and my three children were there too. It's kind of family outing with spiritual entertainment.

There's also a full version of Semarak Selawat with Ustaz Shafi at Masjid Sultan. As usual, it's full house and very crowded, yet it's very spirit-lifting and satisfying the soul.

Then I received a sad and yet happy news at the same time. The feelings are all mixed up now. Some questions have been answered and yet some are left hanging. Putting away all the hope and little disappointment, I just have to accept what's stored for me. Redha. I'll let Allah decides what's best for me, as HE is The All-Knowing.

Habib Umar Bin Hafiz

He's back, Masya'Allah.....

Please let me attend his lectures, Ya Allah.....

Discomfort

Taking the MRT alone from one end to another end was no fun at all. It would be better if I travel with someone. At least I had someone to distract me.

I saw what I should not see. Looking down at my shoes all the way helps though.

I heard what I should not hear. If only I turned on the volume of my MP3 loud enough.

I smelt what I should not smell. Tyring hard not to puke. I could faint.

I almost touched what I should not touch. Trying hard to keep my ablution stays.

Sat between two male strangers was very scary. I wanted to gave up my seat but my journey was still long way to go. And I didn't want to stand with more men around me. So I stayed put. One of them falls asleep and ALMOST landed his head on my lap. I asked for Allah's help, and that man's handphone rang. Phew.....

I'm not being stuck-up here, just posting my discomfort taking the MRT alone. If I have the choice, I want Hubby to send me wherever I need to go.

Or staying home is so much better choice........

Patience

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Some Ansari persons asked for (something) from Rasulullah s.a.w and he gave them. They again asked him for (something) and he again gave them. And then they asked him and he gave them again till all that was with him finished. And then he said "If I had anything. I would not keep it away from you. (Remember) Whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience." ~ Sahih Bukhari

I NEED to be patient.

And I need time.

Everything Went Well

Alhamdulillah. Everything went well, as planned.

On Thursday night, I had Qiyam session with my beloved Halaqah sisters. My children slept over at their Nenek's house and Hubby spent his time alone at home. I had doubt at first actually, leaving Hubby sleeping alone. But I guess, it's good to be alone once in a while.

The Qiyam session with the sisters was indeed beautiful and peaceful. The bond and the love between us, could not be described by words. We forget about our differences. We were there for the sake of Allah, and Rasulullah.

I was relieved and glad as my presentation on "The Remembrance of Allah" went well. Only Allah knows how nervous and worried I was before the presentation. I really did my homework and research on the topic. But Alhamdulillah, they did not nod off during my presentation. They listened. And I pray hard they got what I was trying to deliver.

Friday was rest day and clear some housework day. By then all my children were back home and suddenly the house became noisy. I was supposed to help out for the Maulidur Rasul's preparation, but Hubby went alone instead. I wanted to gather my strength for the big day on Saturday.

And Saturday was the big day. We came to the National Stadium at 2.30 pm to help out here and there. The sky was dark and at about 5 p.m, it was raining heavily. I pray hard that people would still come despite the rain.

My prayer was answered. More than 10,000 jemaah came, for the sake of Allah and Rasulullah. As usual, Ustaz Shafi managed to attract thousands of people when he and Darul Fikrah organized a Maulid. I am proud to be part of Darul Fikrah. The best part was, my two girls also had the chance to help out distributing the packet of briyani rice, Selawat book and water to the jemaah at the entrance. While Affandy had the chance to be with the 'Ulama. He was taken care by the Darul Fikrah's volunteers in charge, and he did not even cry and look for me for that night. I was so proud of my children.

The Maulid went very well. The preparations, the meetings, the standings, the sweat, the smile, the thirst, the hunger, the pain. There were all so worth it.

We left the National Stadium about 1 a.m. By the time we reached home, we were dead beat.