Patience

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Some Ansari persons asked for (something) from Rasulullah s.a.w and he gave them. They again asked him for (something) and he again gave them. And then they asked him and he gave them again till all that was with him finished. And then he said "If I had anything. I would not keep it away from you. (Remember) Whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience." ~ Sahih Bukhari

I NEED to be patient.

And I need time.

Yesterday Learnt

"NEVER EVER forget that we have sins in this life. Covering the aurah from head to toe does not make us better that others. Syaitan will always trick us by make us believe that we are one level higher than the rest. Syaitan will always keep on attacking when we make a step closer to Allah. Always remember our past sins to make us humble, to make us remember that we are nothing."

"Make at least 300 Istighfar per day as we live in life full of distractions. Make yourself feel "lower" after each Istighfar."

"If we lose adab and akhlak, we lose Islam. When we have adab with Allah, automatically we have adab towards human."

Sink it in your head and straight to your heart, Rina!!

Big Lessons Learnt

In this life, I've met all sorts of people.

I've learnt a few very big lessons last week. The lessons that can make me remember for the rest of my whole life.

I sincerely gave some advice, but sadly it was labelled as "scolding". My intention was being misunderstood.

I dutifully feedback some issue, but it was taken as "complain". Then tongue wars started. Scary.

My words were twisted and they made a small issue, big.

Some people were really unfair, bias and such a suck-up to other people of higher rank. What could they gain? Seriously, NOTHING!

Where was my mistake? I talked too much. I involved too much. Really too much.

I learnt my mistakes the hard way. I am so going to avoid these people. I have too many sins already. Just by being with them, it will get worse.

I'll stick to the small and certain group of people who really accept me as what I am.

The next important thing, is to keep my mouth shut. When there's nothing to say, I'll glue my mouth. I want to smile more, rather than talk more.

"Ya Allah, please forgive me, as I have sins. Bring me close to the people that can bring me closer to YOU. Guide me. Help me, Ya Allah..."

Anger

I saw a mother, scolded and shouted at her child, in public place. Everyone around suddenly became quiet and turned at the shrieking voice. I did not know what the child had done, but my heart went to the child. The child just stood still, looked down, and wept uncontrollably. I wept with the child, inside my heart.

If I had the courage, I would have hug the child and tell the child everything would be ok.

This incident is kind of a reflection to me. Have I ever scolded and screamed at my children in public places like that? At home, yes, sometimes, but outside, seriously, I cannot remember. I pray that I have not and I will not. Ever. Usually those who are angry could not remember herself being angry as she is controlled by syaitan. I seek Allah's forgiveness if I have ever done that.

I put myself in that child's shoe. Being humiliated and embarrassed, in front of the public, by own mother. People staring all around. Feeling helpless, defenseless, vulnerable. And crying is the best and the only thing that she can do.

Shame on me if I ever scream at my children in public places. As much as I do not want to be humiliated, I should never humiliate others, even to my own children.

Narrated Sulaiman bin Surd : "While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet (pbuh), two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that, the Prophet (pbuh) said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.' then all his anger will go away." ~ Sahih Bukhari

How beautiful and simple the lesson our beloved Prophet (pbuh) taught us. We seek refuge with Allah, when we are angry. It may be simple to say, but it's not totally impossible to do. And it's the right thing to do.

I need to apologize to my children and want to hug my children right now....

As I am not a perfect mother.

Misunderstood

I'm being misunderstood.

I should have kept quiet and didn't get myself involved. But my intention was clear.

I wanted to help, for Allah's sake.

I know my intention was right, but my action was being misunderstood.

I could sense that something was not right. When I looked further, my feeling was right. People could take others' explanation, but could not accept mine. People could accept others' action, but could not accept mine. The funny thing was, both explanation and action were the same. It's just from different person.

Life is unfair, yes, but I know Allah is just. HE knows my REAL intention.

Now that I'm being misunderstood (serves me right for being involved), keep quiet and stay away is the BEST solution at the moment.

Have Faith In HIM

I used to chat online a lot. Almost everyday. But I've stopped chatting for a long time already. Only on a few occasions when I needed to discuss something important, then I would be online with that person only. I feel it's better to stay this way.

While I was checking through my Facebook, a friend whom I love dearly, invited me to chat. I was ecstatic as it's been quite sometime since I talked to her. She is facing trials from Allah right now and she accepts her fate very well. I wish I have half of her strength to go through trials in life. She is one strong woman. I learn a lot from her.

The sweetest thing is that, even though she herself is going through some rough time now, she offers her hand to help someone who is in need. I am touch by her sincerity. I am impress with her positiveness in life.

After we updated each other on what's happening in our lives, I realized something. There's a reason behind anything that happen. Allah arranges our lives so perfectly. HE is the All-Knowing. HE closes one door but opens a few other opportunities for us. HE knows what's best for us. We need to open our eyes and open our heart to see and feel the blessings. We just need to believe and have deep faith in HIM.

Pearls Of The Heart

I have learnt that...

* We have to realize that we are in total denial of all of Allah's bounties to us. We choose to be thankful to human, rather to Allah.

* Without realizing, we've done "syirik" in thinking that human is the one who arranges our life in this world.

* While the truth is, "Rabb" is the ONE who arrange EVERYTHING.

* Feel the pain and difficulty when we try to arrange our own life and refuse to submit wholeheartedly to Allah.

* Just to thankful to ALL the bounties that Allah has grants to us.

* And just be thankful if we fell ill, even how critical is the illness, as there's hidden nikmah and rahmah from Allah.

* The heart is the sole cause for all the illness in our body. To have a healthy and clean heart, DO NOT HATE anyone, even to your enemy. Always forgive them and love them for Allah's sake.

Wallahu'alam....

Holding On

"So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief,
Verily, with every difficulty there is relief."

~ Surah Al-Insyirah (94 : 5-6)

I'm holding on to this...

I really do.

18 Ramadhan = 18 September

One more year, closer to death. Alhamdulillah....

"Ya Allah! I seek refuge with You from helplessness, laziness, cowardice and feeble old age. I seek refuge with You from afflictions of life and death and seek refuge with You from the punishment in the grave."

Amin.....

Why?

Since all of us will DIE one day, why does everybody act as if they will never depart from this world?

While a person, whose DEATH is CERTAIN, ought to strive for his life after death, how is it that almost all people behave as if their lives in this world will never end?

~ Harun Yahya


** I'm really really really exhausted, mentally and physically...

Help me, Allah... **

Too Much

All these while,

...I've said too much.

...I've talked too much.

I've failed to prevent my tongue from talking about unbeneficial topics. I've let my tongue loose. I could not keep my mouth shut.

"Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira 'narrated from the Prophet who said "Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it." ~ Sahih Bukhari"

"Had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy unto you in this world and in the Hereafter, a great torment would have touched you for that whereof you had spoken. When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great. ~ Surah An-Nur : 14-15"

Astaghfirullah.....Astaghfirullah.....

Ya Allah, please stop me before I say anything unuseful. Give me a chance to think and consider before I blurt out my words. Make it easy for me to zikr to you...

Patience

It's easier to say than done.

I try to instil patience to my three children, but before I can do that, I have to show them what is patience is all about.

I have to be patience myself, so they can follow me.

But like I said, it's easier to say than done.

A little provocation can make me lose patience.

I have so much to learn to control my anger and zip my mouth.

Astaghfirullah......Astaghfirullah....