I wanna be there

I'm nervous and I can't wait for this Sunday.

InsyaAllah, together with estimated about 12,000 people, and I will be one of them.

I'm more excited thinking that I am one of those volunteers involved in this Majlis Maulidur Rasul.

....Rabbi yassir wa laa tu'assir....

It's all for Allah's sake....

And it's because of you, Ya Rasulullah....

Grant me with your syafa'at, I want to there with you at Padang Masyar.

Death

Today I've learnt about death. I attended a Dhuha class, and the topic was all about death.

Ustaz depicted about how it feels like to be on the verge of death. What do we actually feel on our sakaratul maut. Some death may be easy, some death takes very long.

Ustaz asked us to hold our breath as long as we could, and decribed what did we feel at that point. There were some mixed answers : uncomfortable, pain, dizzy, desperately gasping for air etc.

But all agreed on one thing - SCARED...

Once we are on the verge of death, Allah will open the hijab to another world - the halfway to the hereafter. The world where we can see Jin and Syaitan. At that point, we will feel terribly thirsty. They will disguise as our love ones (those who are closed to our hearts), and offer us a drink. At the same time, persuading us to deny that Allah is not our God. Na'uzubilllah minzalik!!

Ya Allah....I seek your forgiveness.

Ya Allah....Please bless me with your rahmat, taufiq and hidayah.

Ya Allah....I pray for Husnul Khatimah.

Patience

It's easier to say than done.

I try to instil patience to my three children, but before I can do that, I have to show them what is patience is all about.

I have to be patience myself, so they can follow me.

But like I said, it's easier to say than done.

A little provocation can make me lose patience.

I have so much to learn to control my anger and zip my mouth.

Astaghfirullah......Astaghfirullah....

Zzzzzzz.......

Allah pulls back the nikmat in life as we grow older..

But InsyaAllah, HE will replace with better ones.

I used to NOT taking afternoon naps and I could still slept late and woke up early.

But now, it's different.

I dozed off when I attended my night class. And it happened twice already. And I don't like it a bit - feeling sleepy at class.

I struggled to keep awake, to the extend that I even pinched myself. Ouch!! But it did not help.

I want to stay wide awake during those classes as all the ilmu on the classes are very precious to me. Too good to be missed!!

So now, though I don't like it, if I have night class to attend, I try to nap for maximum half an hour during the day. I do not wish to take a long nap as I will get difficultly to sleep at night.

Tonight I am so free as my Halaqah class has ended. I'm looking around to attend any night class on Friday.

Cry

I want to cry hard....for Allah.

I want to cry more....for Rasulullah.

I need THEM for my akhirat.

I do not want to pull my husband to hell for my sins.

I do not want to pull my son to hell for my sins.

I do not want to pull my father for my sins.

Ya Allah...I beg your sympathy and forgiveness.

*sob sob*

Another Day

ALLAH is kind to me.

He gives the taste of being sick since yesterday, But I am grateful for that.

I can still presume my normal routine chores.

I pray. I do laundry. I cook. I vacuum the house. I change the carpet. I even got the strength to sit in front of the PC.

HE makes me fall sick, and I shall go to HIM for prescription.

ALHAMDULILLAH....

The Chosen One

Someone close called me up the other day and asked me, how come I was not one of the chosen one?

After having some thoughts about it, I came up with these...

It's inevitable to feel disappointed when I am not the chosen one. I asked lots of questions wondering what it takes to make me the chosen one.

It is trust? Or how long I should know that person? Does it base on my ability and compassion?

Should I be disappoint when not given the privilege to read/view something exclusive and private?

Maybe the right word to describe the disappointment is "being left out".

But I forget one very important thing. Actually it's okay to be left out on the above situation. As it only happen in this WORLD.

I should be real disappoint when not chosen by ALLAH for his taufiq and hidayah.

I should cry hard when not given by ALLAH His compassionate guidance.

My heart should break when I fail to remember ALLAH when HE is there for me every seconds of my life.

I AM NOTHING without ALLAH's love.....

Death is CONFIRMED, but life only...INSYAALLAH.....

When one door is shut on me, I know there's lots of other opening doors waiting for me to enter. ALLAH is far and just.

And the latest, I was welcomed to join an exclusive "cats group of people." Heh heh....

So do I still feel disappointed for the above "human" reason.

Totally NO.

I can smile now. ALHAMDULILLAH....

Here I Am

It's been almost a year I left this blog alone.

But this fingers of mine have been itching to blog again.

So....InsyaAllah, I'll start to write again.

I'M OUT!!!

I'm so lethargic to update my blog lately. I think I lost interest in blogger, again. And I don't think anybody comes here and read anymore.

But I can be found here. Feel free to add me as contact.

Have a bless day, everyone!!

:)

He wants it, he got it......

Hubby got himself a new toy today......NOKIA N95

He's been eyeing it for so long and been patiently wait for its launch, now he owns it.

I should feel envy, but this time I'm happy for him.

This is his first ever BRAND NEW EXPENSIVE handphone he got for himself.

He's previous handphones were either second-hand (I was the first user) or he got it free when he signed a new contract with the service provider.

So you see, that's why I don't envy that he got his dream phone. But he knows me so well, even though I acted like I'm cool about it, my hands were soooo itchy to try the phone. And he let me played with it first. Yeah!!

While my fingers pressing here and there, I was like, "wah.....!", "kencang seh...!", "eh best nye..!", "wow....!", "fuhyoh...!" etc.

The best part was that, he told the kids, "All of you cannot touch this handphone, only UMMI and ABAH".

The kids were complaining, "TAK FAIR!! Ummi aje boleh..."

Abuthen?? I'm the MOTHER, hokay!!

Heh heh......

DEAD BEAT PART 2

Let me continue.......

Monday, 16 April 2007

I was exhausted. I had diarrhea. And Afiqah still burning with fever.

This time I took her to the doctor and she got 2 days of MC. Affandy also did not go to school as I was so tired to send and fetch him.

I spent my Monday by going in and out of the toilet, taking care of the a sick Afiqah and kept shouting to a super hyper active boy at home!! *fainted*

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

My diarrhea was gone and I let Affandy go to school. Afiqah stayed at home and rest but I still tagged her along when I fetched Affandy from school. I was so relieved that Afiqah was getting better.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

I received a sad news from MIL when I was waiting to fetch my kids from school. Hubby's grandmother passed away in Malacca. I was so shocked and it left me speechless for a moment. My body was shaking and I held up my tears. After I regained control of my emotion, I called Hubby and we decided to drive to Malacca soonest possible. I went home straight and started to pack up, while Hubby rushed back and fetched Afrina from school. Together with my PILs, we drove straight to Malacca without stopping. We reached there in less than 3 hours.

We were just in time to see Nenek. We were the last one to say goodbye to her. I cried hard. Just last month we went to visit Nenek, and now she's gone......

Al-Fatihah for Nenek, Hajjah Aminah Binte Yunus....... We gonna miss you so much.....



We stayed in kampong for the night. I went to bed at 2 a.m but I could not sleep.

Thursday, 19 April 2007

We had to rush back to Singapore and left Malacca about 10.30 a.m. This was the sad moment for us. We salam, hugged and kissed our kampong relatives. We cried. We felt the loss of Nenek. They made us promise to come back even when Nenek is not around anymore. InsyaAllah....... even though they are far, they are near in our hearts. We will definitely come back to kampong to visit them.

We left with heavy hearts.........

We reached home about 3 p.m. I was so tired and sleepy that I took a nap. I checked on Afiqah, I thought she could attend school next day.

Friday, 20 April 2007

Just as I thought everything was fine now, but it wasn't. As I was about to give Afiqah a bath, I was surprised when I looked at her body. Rashes all over!!! I got panicked. Is this chicken pox or HFMD? They're so red and she said it's itchy.

I got Hubby to send Affandy to school and I sent Afiqah to see the doctor again. I was so relieved when doctor said it's not chicken pox or HFMD. It's a type of rashes due to dust or allergy. Phewww........

Even though she has rashes all over, her is back to her real self.

Today, Saturday, 21 April 2007

With Afiqah having rashes and it's raining right now, we stay at home. We may be going out for dinner later at night.

I want my strength and energy back.......

DEAD BEAT PART 1

So many things happened for the past one week. One after another. At this moment, I am physically and mentally tired. I have yet to regain my strength back. Let me try to recall what happened since last week Wednesday.

Wednesday - 11 April 2007

Out of the sudden, Afiqah's temperature rose. From a cheerful and energetic girl, she became so quiet and her just kept to herself. I self-medicated her and hopefully she could have peaceful night sleep. But she kept waking up and cried. I lost my sleep for that night.

Thursday - 12 April 2007

Afiqah was absent but I let Affandy went to school. Since Hubby could not be released from his work, I had to fetch Affandy from school. I had no choice but to drag Afiqah along as no one's to take care of her. Her fever went up and down and I continued to self-medicated her. She still woke up and cried at night and I lost my sleep again.

Friday - 13 April 2007

Afiqah's fever was gone so she went to school. But in the late afternoon, again her temperature rose and again I self-medicated her. And once more I had only a few hours of sleeping.

Saturday - 14 April 2007

Afiqah's fever was on and off.

I've been busy baking and making last minute preparation for my BIL's engagement. I made some gubahans for the hantarans. I baked more than 500 pcs of mini cupcakes. I also made puddings. After Maghrib, we went to MIL's house to send over the kuehs and did some touch-ups on the hantarans gifts. When we reached home about 11 pm, I put my kids to sleep and continued with preparing the ingredients for Udang Sayur Masak Lemak. I slept at 2 a.m.

Sunday - 15 April 2007

This was the busiest day of the my life. This was the day my BIL got engaged.

I woke up at very early to cook the Udang Sayur Masak Lemak. Got my kids ready for the occasion and off we went to collect the hantaran cup cakes which I ordered from a friend. I ordered two more kuehs from an online friend and I am so grateful that she offered to deliver over to my MIL's house.

Only Allah knows how busy I was. I divided myself into two, being a obligated DIL and an apprehensive mother with a sick child. Yes, my Afiqah was still sick with fever and flu.

I'll talk more on my BIL's engagement day when I upload the photos.

After the last guest left, I helped MIL to clean up the mess. We reached home almost 11 pm and I was totally worn-out!!

To be continued......

THE FRIDAY

We did go out on last Friday. Hubby came back around 6 pm and off we go to Orchard Road!!

Hubby parked the car at Royal Park Hotel and did his prayer there. While waiting for Hubby, my kids and I waited at the hotel lobby as though we were one of the guests there. I got the kids to pose and I took their pics. Even the hotel's staff greeted us. Hahahaha......!

It's been a long time since we went to Far East Plaza. I used to worked with the management before I was married. So much changes and all the tenants that I knew were no longer there.

We walked around and decided to have our dinner at one of the Malay restaurant on the 5th floor. The food was good but the service sucks!!

When Afrina's food was served and she was about to eat (only few seconds to reach her mouth), the man asked her to stop eating and took back the food!! He said the food was meant for the other table!! Then he served the same plate to the other table.

Sheeesshh....! Macam gini punya orang pun ada!

What happened if Afrina already eaten the food? Would he still served to the other table?

Pity Afrina, while waiting for her food, she licked the fork and spoon..... Betul punya lapar anak dara aku......

We are so NOT going there again!!

I planned to took some night view pictures of Orchard Road. I brought along my camera stand. But I forgot to charge the battery earlier and it went flat!! Weak ah....

So after dinner, we thought of strolling along Orchard Road, but Afiqah started to get crancky, saying that she was tired and sleepy. Spoil ah....

Siang suruh tido taknak, bila nak jalan penat!!

So, we pun baliklah!!

WHAT HOLIDAY??

Today is a public holiday, and it's supposed to be A holiday.

What is a holiday means to me?

It means.....

- no cooking (checked)
- no tedious housework (well...just the laundry)
- no school (checked)
- must go out (arrrgggghhh.....!)

This is the setback. We really have no idea where to go but we will definitely go out, no matter what. I was ready, and the kids were ready. Once Hubby came back from his Friday prayer, we planned to have lunch and just roam around Singapore.

But.....

His pager beeped, and off he went to attend the customer's stupid machine problem!!

Die die also must attend!!

Leaving me and the kids at home, all dressed up, feeling very hungry.

We waited and waited and waited, who knows he could come back fast and we could have our lunch together.

It was 3.30 pm and the kids were starving, I was starving too!!

And this Ummi, die die also didn't want to cook (holiday what!!)

So off we went to, where else, the nearest makan place which is just across the road.

Hah kau, lantaklah kami anak beranak!!

Even Afiqah which is not a rice-person, asked for chicken rice. (Obviously she's famished)

Still hoping the Hubby would come back soon, so went home straight.

Hubby still not back yet, even while I'm typing this entry.

While waiting for their Abah, the girls are watching whatever DVD and Affandy is having his nap.

And all of us are still in our baju jalan, just waiting for that one phone call from Hubby.

Still waiting..........

P-M-S

The perils of being a woman......

I have to do something to control my anger during PMS. I think it has come to a dangerous stage where I have no idea what's got into me!

I get iritated simply over a small tiny matter.......

I flare up so easily....

I snap at my kids.....to the extent that I even hit them.

I don't remember being like this few years back.

Someone recommended me to take Evening Primrose. I did. Well, it do helps to balance up my hormones, but it makes me put on extra weight.

So I stop.

Now I just can't wait for the "red days" to come and be over with, so that I won't infuriate any further.

In the meantime, don't come near, I'll BITE!!!

THE CONVERSATION

I almost forgot that I have a blog to update.

Life has been pretty plain so far. Nothing much to talk about.

I am very grateful that Allah has opened another door for me to seek knowledge. Thank you to a friend that recommended me to that place. Though I have to travel quite a bit, bringing my two smaller kids along, I find it worthwhile. The timing is so right for me. There's also a mini playground for my kids to occupy themselves with. Meaning less interruption from them.

I am so looking forward for every Thursday.

**************************

I had a conversation with Affandy, this morning.

If Hubby is not in town, I have to send my two younger kids to school every morning. Like any other days, the bus was crowded with working adults. Affandy was asking why there were so many people in the bus.

My reply was because these people must take this bus to go to work.

Since he was quiet, I thought he got the picture.

Then I asked him, "Can Ummi go to work?"

Spontaneously he answered, "NO!!"

"Why?"

Innocently and purely he responded, "Ummi cannot work cause Ummi is a girl. Only boys go to work, like Abah."

Mmmmmm.......I like his reply. Untung siapa dapat kahwin dengan anak bujang aku!

But thinking back.....

Apa dia ingat Ummi dia ni tak keje kat rumah? Ummi cuma mengadap muka dia 24 jam!

:)

*GULP*

I'm kidless at the moment!

Yes, I'm alone at home. Syiokness to the max!!

My girls are at their ex-babysitter's house since last night.

My boy is on excursion. I'll be fetching him an an hour's time.

The girls will be back tonight and I shall bring home 1 more girl.

So tomorrow I shall have FOUR kids to look after!! *Gulp*

KL....HERE I COME

Change of holidays plan.

Initial plan was to bring the kids to Sentosa and shopping at JB. But Hubby got better plans for us!!

We shall balik kampong (yes, really balik kampong) on Thursday and stay for one night. After Friday prayers, we shall zoom to KL!! Yahooooo.........!!

MY DAYS

Hubby is back since last Thursday.

My routine and mundane life continues as usual.

But since last Tuesday, I feel like a brand new person. I started something that I yearned to start long time ago. I've been searching for a place to start, but I did not realized that it can be started right at my own abode. Thank you Allah for making it so much easier for me.

Hubby came back from work so late on Friday night, but he purposely did not want to work on last weekends, just to spend quality time with us. I knew he was tired, but he was not in town for the last three weeks, so only on weekends he could make up the missing days with us.

On Saturday, we started with our late expensive lunch at a restaurant in Sembawang. (To me, over S$30 for a simple single meal for a family IS expensive). Then we headed to Vivocity and this was where Hubby gave in to the kids when they pleaded with him to buy some items from Toys'R'Us. The Cars collections for Affandy and make-up kits for the girls. As for me, I got to buy lenses for one-year usage. So kira fair and square lah, as each of us get something from Hubby.

After our weekly religious class on Sunday, we headed to Tebrau City, JB, for our lunch. I have no intention for shop as I know I will be back there on this coming March school holidays. After lunch, Hubby filled petrol for our car and we reached home before 5 pm.

I am so looking forward for the March school holidays as Hubby has confirmed taking leaves to bring us out. Yeah.......!

WHAT A FEELING!!

Alhamdulillah.....I feel so relieve....

Allah has make it easier for me.

Hubby has spoken up for me and hopefully the message has been crossed over to the other party.

I've gain my privacy back, and it's a feeling the I could not describe in words.

Thank you Allah.....

Thank you Hubby for doing the right thing......

THE DILEMMA

I'm in dilemma. And I hate this situation. Whatever decision made, I'm at the losing side.

Sometimes in this life, you have to choose, either to consider other people's feeling or to think of only yourself.

I've been keeping mum about it since the day Hubby left Singapore. But now I can't hold it any longer. I do not want my discomfort becomes hatred.

At first I thought 'someone' is sincere to help me out since Hubby is not in town. But then I realized that 'someone' took Hubby's absence for granted. Hubby's absence is more to that 'someone's' advantage. The pity for me is questionable and unconvincing.

To make the story short, I don't feel comfortable at my own abode. My privacy has been breached.

It's so unfair to me.....

I don't need anyone else to take over Hubby's fatherly duties.

I'm confident that I can manage on my own when Hubby is not in town. I know Allah will protect me and my children. This is not the first time Hubby works oversea. Somehow I have survived those ordeals. Alhamdulillah.....

So, I have to do something. I want my privacy and my rights back. I am willing to face any consequences from the decision that I've made.

Please Allah......

Make this easier for me.....

Please strengthen my faith in YOU.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFRINA

Happy 8th Birthday to my sweet honey, Afrina......



She is imaginative, kind, sympathetic, intuitive, visionary, sensitive, adaptable, receptive, a dreamer and romantic.

That's my AFRINA!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFIQAH

Happy 5th Birthday to my sweet darling, Afiqah......



She is friendly, independent, quirky, willing, progressive, an original thinker, inventive, creative, loyal, idealistic yet rational and unpredictable.

That's my AFIQAH!!

AH CHONG & AH LIAN

My two youngest kids in their Chinese New Year costumes.....



AH LIAN


AH CHONG


Nak orange?? :)

MISSING HIM.....

Hubby left for Kuching this morning.

Though he travels very often, I still feel the tinge of sadness and desolation when he is not around. I know I have my kids with me, I am not alone but I still sense the loneliness in me. It's just not the same......

Hubby will not be here on the long Chinese New Year holidays. I have make some plans for the kids on the holidays. I am not going to just laze around at home. I am going to bring the kids out to have fun.

Hubby also will not be here for our girls' birthday. I feel sad for them. Though Hubby had brought them birthday gifts in advance, he gave me the permission to buy another gifts for our girls. He never fail to please our kids.

During Hubby's absence, my major task is to wake Affandy and Afiqah up early in the morning and to send them to school. You know how grumpy kids will be when they are forced to wake up from their sleep. We have to leave house before 7.45 am in order to reach the school in time. I pray so hard that Allah will make my life easier on this.

InsyaAllah.......

WEEKEND FEVER

I'm not aware that fever is contagious.

It all started with Affandy. On Friday night, he started his whining and grouchy. He refused to eat his dinner. This is not his usual self. I knew something was not right,so I checked his temperature.

Arrrkkkksss.....It's over 38 degree celcius!!

And Saturday I had major plans for the kids. I prayed so hard that he would recover fast.

And he did!! Alhamdulillah....

So Saturday, after Afrina's madrasah class, we headed to a Fun Fair at Innova Junior Collage. Afrina brought her best friend, Ashurah, along. I bought two $10 coupons from Mummy Hestia (she's a teacher there). I thought two coupons were enough, end up we bought two more and a kind makcik gave us two more. I wanted to pay her but she refused to accept. She said she wanted to go home, might as well gave the coupons to the my kids.

So total we had 6 coupons!!

Some pictures to share the fun we had at the fun fair.....

Jumping up and down....


Eating chocolate muffins (specially baked by Hestia).....


Enjoying their ice-creams.......


Playing games.......


Quenching their thirst.....


Ummi cair under the hot sun.....


Ok, back to the fever.......

Later that night, Afiqah started to show signs of fever. I wasted no time in giving her panadol syrup and pasted cool-fever on her forehead.

Sunday morning her fever still there. We missed our weekly religious class, as Affandy just recovered and Afiqah was down with high fever.

Last night, Afrina's temperature shot up! Haizz...one after another. And I did not have a good sleep.

Affandy cried every hour due to his nose blocked.....
Afiqah woke up and threw up, and insisted to sleep beside me....
Afrina's temperature still high, even till now....

I have no choice but to let Afiqah and Afrina rest at home and skip school today. Only Affandy went to school this morning.

What a weekend.....

ACHE HERE, ACHE THERE

Today, Ummi is not her usual self.

Her whole body aches, especially her right hand. This is due to the whole 2 hours of non-stop ironing yesterday. She ironed and ironed and ironed till there's no more hangers left. But the task was not fully completed as there's more to iron. *faints*

Migraine hits the right side of her head. She is trying so hard not to bang her head against the wall due to the pain.

She patiently waiting for Ibu Wati to come to her rescue at 3 pm today. Ibu Wati will press here, press there, tickle here, tickle there, kerok here, kerok there, everywhere on Ummi's body. And Ummi don't mind. Cause it's been almost six month since Ummi's body had been tortured like that. And Ummi liokkeee it so much.

Ummi's kitchen will also be closed today due to her lemau-ness. Lunch will be at McDonalds for the kids and dinner will be from Banquet. Abah is not allowed to complaint, or Ummi blood will go upstairs. When Ummi is angry, she will bite.

*Ummi looking at the clock* 10 o'clock only???

"NAK UMMI! NAK UMMI!!"

Hampir tiap-tiap malam, aku dan Hubby pasti akan hadapi masalah ini. Sudah macam-macam cara kami cuba, baik cara lembut atau keras, pun tak jalan jugak. Bincang punya bincang, kami pun nak cuba cara lain.

Kunci pintu!!! (Korang jangan nak fikir bukan-bukan) :)

Tiap-tiap malam bila tiba waktu tidur, Afiqah mesti melalak dan sedu-sedan. Pasal apa? Sebab, "nak sleep dengan Ummi"!! Umur dah nak masuk 5 tahun, masih nak tidur dengan aku. Bilik dia dah ada katil sendiri, cadar Barbie (dia sendiri yang pilih), favourite cushions and dolls, mainan-mainan, dan entah apa-apa lagi. Semua dah complete. Tinggal tidur aje. Mula-mula aje bersemangat nak tidur sendiri, tapi dia cari jugak aku. Bukannya dia tidur sorang dalam bilik tu, kakak dia pun ada. Dua anak dara dalam satu bilik, dah ok kan tu?

Bila dia dah dapat tidur sendiri kat bilik dia, aku dan Hubby pun suka. Tapi tau-tau bangun pagi, si Afiqah terselit kat tengah-tengah katil aku. Sebokkan? Entah bila dia merangkak masuk, kadang-kadang kita pun tak perasan. Tidakkah itu MERBAHAYA??

Jadi, tadi malam, bila Afiqah dah masuk tidur, Hubby kunci pintu bilik kita. Pukul 2 pagi, aku tersedar bila dengar ada orang cuba nak buka pintu. Mula-mula Afiqah cuba buka pintu dengan perlahan. Bila dia tak dapat buka, dia pun apalagi, HENTAK, TENDANG, PEKIK, MELALAK & MERAUNG!! Aku diamkan dulu, mana tau dia give up ke. Tapi makin lama, makin kuat pulak. Sebelum dia kejut orang satu blok ni, dan sebelum polis datang, nak taknak terpaksa aku buka pintu. Tapi aku tak kasi dia masuk.

Kalaulah korang dengar rayuan dalam tangisan dia, boleh cair......

Dalam sedu-sedan, dia merintih, "Nak Ummi, nak Ummi, nak Ummi....."

Kalau ikut hati naluri aku, memang aku nak peluk dia, cium dia dan bawa dia masuk bilik aku. Tapi nanti aku dengan Hubby pulak bertekak. Dalam detik itu, aku rasa aku harus tegas dalam keputusan aku. Aku nekad untuk suruh dia tidur di katil sendiri. Aku pimpin dia dan baringkan di atas katil. Dia bangun balik dan peluk aku erat-erat. Nak taknak aku terpaksa tinggikan suara dan suruh dia pilih, nak tidur kat katil ke kat store? Budak tu dengar aje perkataan 'store' terus naik katil dia. Dia masih sedu-sedan, aku pujuk dia suruh tidur sebab kejap lagi nak bangun untuk ke sekolah. Aku cium dia dan terus masuk tidur.

Pagi tadi bila Hubby keluar bilik untuk sholat Subuh, Afiqah pun masuk bilik aku. Aku rasa dia dah bangun awal, tapi tunggu Abah dia keluar bilik, baru dia berani masuk.

Malam ini aku nak kunci pintu bilik lagi. Mudah-mudahan Afiqah tak bangun malam lagi untuk cari aku.

TOPIK HANGAT

Aku baru pulang dari berjumpa dengan dua orang rakan baik. Walaupun cuma kami bertiga yang ada, aku rasa terhibur. Tak lah boring sangat kat rumah. Lagipun hari ini hari Jumaat, kira besok tak payah stress pasal budak-budak pergi sekolah.

Antara topik yang kami bualkan, ialah pasal tunaikan fardhu haji pada usia muda. Setelah lama berkawan, barulah aku tahu rupanya S sudah pernah naik haji. Dia pergi pada usia yang amat muda dan sebelum berkahwin. Dia juga adalah seorang yang amat lembut tutur bahasanya dan teman yang baik. Beruntungnya dia sudah menjadi tetamu Allah muda-muda lagi....

N pula bercadang nak tunaikan umrah dulu sebelum haji. Aku pulak, tak kira haji ke umrah, aku ingin sekali lagi jejakkan kaki di tanah suci Mekah. Seandaikan ada kesempatan nak pergi Umrah, aku ingin bawak anak-anak aku sekali. InsyaAllah.....

Beruntung jugak aku dapat kawan macam N. Dia seorang guru yang bertauliah. Aku minta nasihatnya untuk membeli buku-buku assessment untuk anak-anak aku. Dari satu buku ke satu buku, belek punya belek, aku pun borong buku. Dia cakap nanti bila anak dah P3, kena belajar Science. Alamak! P2 pun aku masih terkial-kial nak ajar anak, apalagi nak fikir pasal P3. Itulah untungnya dapat member seorang teacher. Ada apa-apa masalah, sms aje! Boleh kan N? You're my fren... :)

Oleh kerana aku gemar menonton drama-drama melayu, entah macamana, topik sensitif pulak boleh terkeluar. Kita ada juga berbual pasal isteri yang dimadu. Kita cuba bayangkan jika perkara itu terjadi pada kita. Relakah kita menerima hakikat? Sudikah kita berkongsi kasih? Mampukah suami berlaku adil? Bagaimana dengan hati dan perasaan kita yang terluka? Aku rasa isteri tak akan bermadu jika suami tak curang belakang isteri. Tapi bila isteri dah dapat tahu suami dah jatuh hati pada wanita lain, haruskah isteri redha hubungan itu? Tiada siapa yang dapat memberi jawapan yang tepat.

Seorang teman aku, F, pernah cakap jika di akhirat kita nampak lelaki yang jalannya tempang, itulah suami yang ada lebih dari satu isteri tapi tidak berlaku adil. Suami jenis begini tak akan terlepas balasan di akhirat. Di dunia boleh suka-suka permainkan perasaan isteri, tapi di akhirat, jawablah nanti.

Aku rasa aku dah terlalu banyak menonton drama-drama Melayu kat TV. Macam terbawak-bawak pulak perasaan tu. Inilah kalau dah jadi surirumah. Sambil lipat kain ke, gosok baju ke, aku sambil-sambil tonton TV. Mata melekat kat TV, tapi tangan jalan jugak tau. Korang ingat surirumah ni macam tai-tai ke? Tak kerja tapi tiap bulan dapat duit dari suami. Habis jaga anak-anak, pergi pasar, masak, cuci lipat gosok kain baju, kemas rumah, hantar ambik anak-anak pergi balik sekolah, ajar anak-anak homework dan seterusnya, SEMUA TU BUKAN KERJA???

Aku ni sebenarnya tengah PMS, asyik nak melenting aje.....

Astaghfirullah'alazim.......

CERITA PASAL BAPAK MERTUA KU

Isnin kelmarin, aku sempat berbuka puasa di rumah mertua. Di samping bawak dua jenis lauk, aku sempat goreng jemput-jemput ikan bilis.

Abah (FIL) cakap ikan bilis dalam jemput-jemput tu, kurang. Aku sengaja kurangkan, takut termasin pulak. Maklumlah, orang berpuasa yang buat.

Semasa tunggu waktu berbuka, Abah berbual pasal Haji. Abah memang suka bercerita. Tak kira topic apa, boleh berjam-jam dengar cerita dia.

Baru aku tahu, pertama kali Abah menunaikan fardhu Haji ketika umurnya 36 tahun. Kira-kira umur Hubby sekarang. Abah cakap jika mampu, pergi Haji waktu usia muda. Nanti depan Kaabah, doa banyak-banyak agar kita dapat tunaikan Haji berkali-kali. Itulah yang dia lakukan. Aku tak dapa kira entah dah berapa banyak kali Ummi dan Abah dah pergi Haji.

Hubby cakap dia teringin nak tunaikan fardhu Haji dalam masa terdekat. Abah begitu gembira dengar Hubby cakap begitu. Abah kata, Hubby tak perlu risau pasal anak-anak, dia dan Ummi boleh jaga. Begitu juga pasal ongkos, Abah cakap kita tak perlu risau. Dia sanggup bayarkan atau jual kereta sekalipun, jika Hubby benar-benar nak naik Haji. Begitu sayangnya Abah pada anaknya hingga sanggup berkorban.

Tapi aku kenal Hubby, dia takkan menyusahkan orang, apalagi mak bapak sendiri. InsyaAllah, kita akan tunaikan fardhu Haji dengan duit kita sendiri.

Sempat jugak kita posing sebelum balik rumah.


Hari ini mood aku baik. Aku belanja Afiqah dan Affandy makan lunch kat McDonalds. Selalunya budak-budak tu yang sebok nak singgap Causeway Point bila balik sekolah. Kali ini Ummi dorang yang pelawa. Heh heh.....

Aku masak tau, bukannya tak masak. Oleh kerana aku tahu lauk aku pedas gilllerrr.... - lemak ikan cili padi, takkan nak suap budak-budak tu. Nanti baru satu suap, kepala dah basah dan hingus dah meleleh. Petang nanti baru boleh goreng sayur.

Nak kena fikir lauk untuk besok pulak. Dah nak masuk 10 tahun kahwin, otak ni macam dah jammed, tak tau nak masak apa.

Lengit.............!!!!

BAHASA IBUNDA KITA....

Setiap pagi Ahad, aku sekeluarga hadiri kuliah Dhuha di Masjid An-Nur. Sejuk hati ini setiap kali dengar ceramah Ustaz Shafi. Tersentuh sanubari bila kami beramai-ramai membaca zikir munajat. Terasa kerdilnya diri ini.....

Ketika kuliah sedang dijalankan, Ustaz kata sebentar nanti akan ada jenazah yang akan disholatkan di masjid. Ustaz juga menerangkan, betapa besarnya pahala sholat jenazah, sebesar Gunung Uhud. Sholatnya amat mudah, hanya empat takbir, tapi pahalanya......MasyaAllah.....

Jenazah pun sampai. Ustaz cakap betapa beruntungnya jenazah ini kerana Allah memberi peluang disholatkan di masjid ketika kuliah Dhuha sedang dijalankan dan masjid penuh dengan jemaah.

Bila sampai ajal kita, berpeluangkah kita diberi kesempatan begitu? Disholatkan oleh ramai kaum muslimin dan muslimat, di dalam Masjid lagi.

Belum tentu lagi......

********************************

Hari Asyura (10 Muharram) kita disunatkan berpuasa - 9 dan 10 Muharram atau 10 dan 11 Muharram. Aku dan Hubby memilih untuk berpuasa pada hari ini dan InsyaAllah, esok.

Ustaz memberitahu, ada banyak amalan-amalan sunat yang boleh dilakukan pada Hari Asyura. Amalan-amalan ini biasa dilakukan oleh para Ulama. Antaranya :-

1) Berpuasa

2) Menyenangkan hati orang-orang dekat dan kita sayangi

3) Perbanyakkan sedekah - Allah akan kurniakan kesenangan untuk satu tahun

4) Memuliakan fakir miskin - Allah akan menaikkan ekonomi kita sedikit demi sedikit.

5) Mengusap ubun-ubun anak-anak yatim
- Selepas sholat Maghrib, kita digalakkan mengusap kepala anak-anak dan isteri/suami, sambil membaca Bismillahirrahmanirahim sebanyak 21 kali dalam satu nafas
- Untuk melembutkan hati, pegang dada anak baca Surah Insyirah 3 kali

6) Mandi dan berhias diri

7) Potong kuku

8) Menziarah orang alim atau para Ulama

9) Menziarah orang sakit - doakan kesembuhan mereka and suruh mereka mendoakan kita kerana doa orang yang sakit sering dimakbulkan Allah

10) Perbanyakkan baca Surah Al-Ikhlas and Ayat Kursi

12) Perbanyakkan Istighfar dan berdoa

13) Jangan tinggalkan sholat Dhuha

14) Selepas sholat Maghrib, lakukan sholat Hajat dan sholat Taubat.

Itulah antara amalan-amalan yang dikongsi oleh Ustaz Shafi. Aku sekedar ingin berkongsi sama. Wallahu'alam....

********************************


Malam ini, Hubby mengajak aku berbuka puasa di rumah keluarganya. Kita akan kesana selepas Afrina pulang dari sekolah. Kalau aku rajin, aku nak buat jemput-jemput ikan bilis. Kalau tak rajin, bawak aje lauk-lauk yang ada. Jadi kita tak datang dengan tangan kosong.

:)

ROMOS TIME

I don't care!!!



I just want to ROMOS babies!! Any baby will do.

And NO!! I am NOT going to make another one. I want to ROMOS someone else's babies.

Last Friday, I got the chance to ROMOS this chubby little girl. Even her mother could not stop me. Heh heh...!

Her name is DIAN AZURA. She is just like my Afiqah when she (Afiqah) was a baby - errrr..5 years ago. So chubby, so semangat, so super duper cute, her thigh looks like chicken drumstick, and so syiok to ROMOS!!! And i lurrveeeee baby's smell. Sigh....

Anybody got any baby for me to ROMOS??

CICAKO??

We had a date with CICAK MAN last weekend.



Now I know that cicak is afraid of rubber.

Ye ke?

It's the Abah that insisted we watched the movie, and it seems he enjoyed the movie more.....

Affandy slept half way thru....

I think this is the first Malay movie I watched since donkey years ago. Normally I will buy the VCD. But since this movie gets a lot of publicity, and Hubby wanted to bring the kids to watch, why not?

Well, even though Affandy slept before the movie ended, he declared himself as...

"AKU NI CICAK MAN!!!!"

Haizzzzz....

SOOOOO LENGIT

I have my lengit days being a homemaker.

Today for instance, I simply do not have ANY idea what to cook. There's almost everything store in the freezer, but I just stared at them as though the freezing freezer is empty!

There's also a few types of vegetables in the fridge, yet I looked at them blankly.

Flipping through my dozens of recipe books doesn't help either. I'm not up to cook any of the recipes there.

Time is running up before I need to move my big butt to fetch my two younger kids from school. I have to think of something.....real fast.

I end up prepared FRIED RICE. Boleh gitu?

Hubby & I are fasting today, and I am sooooo lengit to cook any fancy dishes.

Hope the people in the house don't complaint.

Berani dorang complaint, nanti Ummi mogok baru tau!!

If my lengitness ends after I switch off my PC, I may be making some puff.

May be......

Maybe not.....

Maybe I will.....

See how lah!!

I CRY HARD.....

For once, I found a novel that touched my heart, made me cry, real hard.

I describe this novel as touching, heartbreaking, poignant, affecting, emotive, haunting, heartrending, tear jerking.....

After reading, the characters in the novel really haunts me, till now. They left a huge impact on me. I kept thinking about Hassan, Amir and Sohrab.

Deep in my heart, I was hoping that Amir got the chance to meet Hassan. But....*sob sob*

As highly recommended by her, I also extremely vouch for this novel. I just have to own this book. It worth reading over and over again.

If this novel can touch my heart, I'm pretty sure it will do the same to you....

"Do you want me to run that kite for you? For you, a thousand times over...."

THIS IS WHAT I CALLED, PEACE.....

This only happened once in blue moon.....they napped at the same time!!




Affandy actually was waiting for me to play his favourite DVD, but he fell asleep before I could turn it on.

:)

PEACE

So far so good. I'm striving to get use to my new routine. I got the hunch that I'm gonna like this year's routine more than last year.

The first week was a little bit relax for me, as I had Mr Beki to drive the kids to school in the morning as Afiqah and Affandy are in the morning session.

But on the second week, it's like, "You're on your own, dude"!

I left the house about 7.45 a.m to take two buses to their school. The bus from my place to Woodlands Interchange was super crowded as it was the peak hours for people going to work. Upon seeing this, I so not miss my working life (except for the pay check lah!).

Taking the bus from Woodlands Interchange to their school is not a problem, as there are a few buses I can choose from. We board whichever bus that comes first.

Once both of them are stuck in school (ha ha), I'm FREE!!!

Well.....not really.

I can do my marketing, in peace.....

I can have my breakfast, in peace......

I can cook, clean the kitchen, clean the house, clear the laundry, fold the clothes, iron some clothes etc., in peace.....

I can switch on the PC for a while to check my emails, in peace......

At 11.45 am, I'll walk Afrina to her school, and just in time for me to fetch the other two from school at 12.30 pm.

The peace ends here.

*faints*

I MISS YOU, YES, Y-O-U!!

I notice that after I switched to the other web address for a while, I've made quite a number of new friends. I even get to put Afiqah's ex-teacher as a contact. That's good, I lioke!!

But the sad thing is, I've lost touch with some of the bloggers here. Some who were close, but now no more. And it disturbs me. I'm a shy person by nature (ehem...), and it's not that easy for me to make new friends out of the blogging world.

Tu lah....apsal gatal pergi stop blogging. Padan muka aku!!

I may not have the luxury of time to bloghop everyday. But I can squeeze some time to visit here and there.

I WANT MY BLOGGER FRIENDS BACK!!!

PRETTY UGLY

I simply HATE silent war, especially in my own abode.

Not a single word being uttered to each other.

Why am I being punished when it's nobody's fault? Why create this silence when we can voice out what's bothering us?

I don't wish to be ignored.

HERE AGAIN

OK, I'm back here :)

Call me itchy, I don't mind, I just wanna write.

Expressing my ramblings on the other web address, just don't give me the kick. Lately I have lots of things of my mind. I just need to vent them out and pen my thoughts down.

The contents of my blog this time round may be merepek, may be meaningful. It may be nothing to you, but like I said, I have to let it out.

I chose a simple web design, no more fancy dandy template. Dulu bolehlah, tengah kemarok!! Now dah maintainkan, so a simple one will do for me.

Please be nice, welcome me back :)

Heh heh........

FULL

It ends here.

Thank you for the friendship.

For those who wish to prolong our friendship, you know where to find me :)

**bows down**

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SON.....

I am THREE years old today.

PEACE!!

................

Tonight is the night......he's coming HOME!!!!

THE BABY I ROMOS-ED

Can't get enough of romosing this tiny little adorable cute baby girl....

NUR KHAIRINA SOPHIA



Definitely will be back to romos her again. Siap kau Pe'ah.....

FUN TIME

I had no idea where to bring my kids yesterday. I was so glad when my friend from Cyberibu, invited me to have lunch with her.

So yesterday, we brought our kids to lunch at Jurong Point. . BQ joined us too, even though only for less than an hour.

Coincidently, Jurong Point organized a meet-and-greet session with Ultraman Nexus. Though my kids are not a great fan of theirs, they just joined the queue to take some pictures with the Ultramans. Affandy and Afiqah were excited at first. But when the crowd was getting bigger, they changed their mind. So only Afrina and Naufal took photo with them. Due to the crowd, the kids were allowed only one shot. We queued for more than half an hour, the meeting session took less than 30 seconds. Chet!

Anyway, I'm glad that the kids had their fun. I had fun chit-chating with my friend too. Click on the photo to view more pics of the kids having fun.



I also would like to congratulate my dear friend, Aliyah on the arrival of her newborn daughter!! I shall visit her and the baby later in the evening. Yeah!! A baby to ROMOS!!! I lioke........ Heh heh.....

HOME SWEET HOME

Alhamdulillah, we reached home safely at 10.30 pm last night.

Despite the hot wheather, the overall tour was good. My and the kids had a good time there.

The best part was the shopping!! Fuhyoh....! It was heaven!

If I never think of the heavy luggages to carry home, I might continuously shop and shop till I drop!

Even though Hubby was not with us, I think I could manage on my own. With some helps from my aunt and my cousin, I think I did alright. Of course I wished Hubby was with us, but I might be going to a short tour on my own again. InsyaAllah....

The shopping bags and luggage bags are still sitting in my room. And I have loads of laundry to do. In the meantime, you may click and view the photos....

OFF WE GO!!

Off we go to Trengganu/Cherating!

We will be back on Monday, InsyaAllah......

THE THIRD DAY

Today's the third day Hubby is far away from us. I was so relieved and happy when he called from his hotel yesterday morning. So good to hear his voice again.

Our local time is eleven hours ahead, so right now he may be having his dinner. It's already Wednesday morning here, but it's still Tuesday night there.

I have still not fully recover from my cold. I pray so hard that I'll be alright before my trip to Trengganu/Cherating this Friday.

Since Afiqah and Affandy were not with us yesterday, Afrina was bored. So I brought her to lunch at Cafe Galilee at Woodlands Library. We also spent our time reading books at the library. Less than an hour, I had to leave the library as I could not breathe. My nose is so blocked that I just wanted to take my medicine and sleep. We went straight home after that.

My MIL sent Afiqah and Affandy only early this morning, instead of yesterday. Once Affandy got into the house, he hugged me tight and kissed me. He missed me, for sure.

I have no plans yet for today. Maybe we'll just stay home. Maybe I'll bake cup cakes for the kids. Maybe we'll have the DVD marathon. Maybe I'll just lie down on my bed for the whole day. Maybe I'll clear all the housework before I leave for my trip. Maybe I'll just face the PC all day. Maybe......

I want my HUBBY!!!!!!

SO WE START MISSING HIM....

Hubby left to States this morning at 4.15 a.m. Everytime we went to the States, I would surely cry. I was not like this when he travelled to Penang. Maybe because the States is about 18 hours journey while Penang is only 1 hour. As usual, once he stepped out of the house with his luggage, I felt so empty inside.

To make matter worst, I'm down with flu and cough. And I had a fever yesterday. Just imagine, being sick with 3 kids at home, and hubby is not in town. Haizz....

Affandy woke up this morning and asked about his Abah. I can sense his sadness when I told him that Abah has fly off to US. All day long, he played on his own. He arranged all his toy vehicles in a single line, and stared at them, one by one. He always do that when he plays alone. He misses his play partner, his Abah.....

Hubby made a short call home when he transited at Japan just now. I asked Affandy if he wanted to talk to his Abah, he refused to talk, but he cried instead. I knew that instance, he just wanted his Abah to be home with him.

My MIL called up offered to take care of the kids while I rest since I'm ill. Part of me wanted to take the offer so I can have a peaceful recovery. But on the other hand, I'll lose my sanity if I were to be alone. I don't want to sleep alone.

Since Afrina is big enough to decide on her own, I asked if she wants to sleep over at her Nenek's place. She chose to stay with me.....

So MIL came and picked Afiqah and Affandy just now. Hopefully when Affandy sees his uncle (my younger BIL) and his Atuk, he will not miss his Abah that much. He just need a father figure to play with him.

Oh dear, now I'm starting to miss my Hubby, Afiqah dan Affandy......badly.

THE GOOD AND SAD NEWS

I have two news to share.....

The good news is, it's confirmed that Hubby will be in US for only two weeks. Yeah!!!

And the sad news is....

After the US trip, he will only be in town for one pathetic week. Then he'll fly off again to Kulim, Penang for another two weeks. Booohooooohoooo......!

Why oh why oh why.........

Starting from Monday, for two weeks, I shall start to *sob* feel kerinduan *sob*....

And also.......*tuang air kat badan*




Hot lah!! Not "dry"!!! *tongue out* These few days the weather is hot what!!!

PRAY HARD

Hubby informed me yesterday that he MIGHT be travelling to the States for two weeks only.

He stressed that he MIGHT, so no definite confirmation yet.

I pray so hard that he'll be away for two weeks only, please please please.

Supaya ku tak kekeringan, eh salah, tak kerinduan di sini.....

Heh heh.....

BUSY WEEKENDS

Oh yes, my weekend was full of fun. Even though Hubby got to work, I still had my fun. I attended TWO gatherings!!!

Saturday, 20 May 2006 - KO Gathering



This was what I called an impromptu gathering. We only confirmed to meet up on Friday afternoon. BabyHD readily offered her place and prepared food for us.

Meeting this group of ladies, as usual, no need to behave. But of course, only if all the hubbies not around. The main reason we met up, was just to eat and eat and eat. Not to forget, to mess up BabyHD's place. Hahahahaha......! I was glad that my kids were so good in doing that!

To KOkza, kita nak piat telinga awak ek!!!


Sunday, 21 May 2006 - KMC Gathering



This meet-up was named as KMC - Kecohrable Mommies Chatters. We started by chatting at MSN and this was the first time we met. Though it was the first time, the kecohness was there.

I, as usual, maintained shy for the the first meet-up. Heh..heh...

But the host, Mama Dewi, made me feel so welcome and kept asking me to eat and eat and eat!! Sampai tak bernafas aku, Dewi! :-)

********

To both groups of ladies, I had so much fun with each and all of you. Thank you for the company. All of you really made my day!

More photos can be viewed here. Enjoy!

MAKAN PER......

It all started with a tag at her blog. I jokingly asked her to deliver her Roti Kirai as it appears in her weekly menu. And she did!! Pakai mangkok tempen lagi.


She sms-ed me at 7.00 a.m in the morning and asked me to come down and collect from her. I was speechless. I was joking and she really prepared some for me. Awww....so sweet of her.


Kari Ayam sampai dua set ah......


Siap dengan Salad sekali.....

I salute you Pol. You as a working mother, still got time to prepare all those. Thank you......

Takkan nak kasi balik mangkok tempen kosong eh? Let me think of something to repay your kindness. In the meantime, let me enjoy your yummylicious Roti Kirai.

Yang lain takmo jeles hah!! Kalau nak makan free, rajin-rajin tag kat blog dia. Heh heh.......

THE MIXED FEELINGS

At this moment, my feelings are mixed.

I am happy, relieved, anxious, excited and sad.

I am so happy and relieve as Afrina has her exams results already. Alhamdulillah, she passed all the subjects. Her marks are all above my expectations. I am very proud of her. I really pray that she will remain focus and excel in her studies.

What I want to know now is, where she stands in her class. And this makes me anxious. I have to wait for her record book to find out. And that will be next week, I hope.

Like I said, I'm excited as I will bring my kids to a short trip without Hubby. Not far, I shall start with Trengganu/Cherating for a start. Hopefully everything will turn out well as planned, InsyaAllah.

It's really sad to know that Hubby will not be with us for the whole June school holidays. I feel like it's kind of waste. All these while, we have been looking foward to the school holidays, so that we can go holiday as one family. But his working schedule spoil our plans.

I may appear ok in front of Hubby, but deep in me, I do not want him to go.

Lately, he has been travelling so often. He only stays home maximum of two weeks, then he flies off again. Bear in mind, he still has to work during the weekdays and even weekends.

I know I should be grateful that he got a job, so we can live comfortably and financially secure. But, I wish he's at home more often to be with us. To spend quality time with us.

To tell the truth, when he's out of town, I feel that....I shoulder the responsibility to bring up the kids, alone. I am the mother, and I also have to act as a father too. No doubt that he called often when he's away, and I updated him on our wherebeings, but it's not the same when he's home. He's not here to see the changes and developments on our kids. And that makes me sad.....

IT'S FINALLY O-V-E-R

Afrina's exams are over!! Yeah!!!!

I've completed Project L1!! Double yeah!!!!

And and and.....Hubby's home!!!! ***banana dance***

I am a very happy woman!!

I will not start on my Project L2 until later date. I need a break.

I DESERVE a break.

I have so much plans for the June school holidays. The sad thing is, Hubby will not be around for the whole school holidays. What a waste!!

I intend to have fun with the kids. He will still be missed, but we can't just stay at home and wait for his return. We can die of boredom at home.

So, I am going to be a little bit adventurous this time. For the first time, I will bring my kids out of our little country, without Hubby. Not sure if I can, but I'll try. Hopefully I can handle them on my own. I know I can. Errr....can I?

IT'S NOT OVER....

Will be back once these two are over....Insya'Allah.

MY BOY AND HER GIRL

MIL called up saying she wanted to "borrow" all my kids for the weekend.

Since Afrina has her weekend madrasah on Saturday morning, so only Afiqah and Affandy are available. So I asked two of them if they wanted to sleep with their nenek. As always, Afiqah was so eager and excited to be with her nenek.

But when I asked Affandy, he simply answered, "Nak Ummi!"

I asked him several times, his answer was still the same.

That's my boy..... *evil grin*

So, this weekend, I shall be one daughter less. Good thing, I can concentrate on Afrina's revision and also at the same time, to complete my project L1.

But Afiqah's pet pot pet pot will still be missed......

I had dinner with her and her kids just now. Quite some time we have not get in touch with each other as she has returned back to the work force. So before my make-up runtuh, I got her son to snap a picture of us.....


Then I noticed that someone was holding someone's hand....


And they happily agreed when I asked to pose together. Look closely at their hands....


Auuuwwwww......The little girl is so mentel like the mother!!

HELP!!

I know this is nothing new, but I just have to write about it.

Dear Hubby is away again, for another 2 weeks.

Haizzzz.....

He will not be around for the period where our girl is having her examination. Here I am, stressful as ever, trying so hard to prepare Afrina for her exams, with another 2 playful kids who will not duduk diam even for a mere 1 second!

HELP ME!!!!

PROJECT "L"

I've been a little bit busy lately.

Afrina will be sitting for her SA1 very soon. In fact, today she has her English Oral Examination. And the one who feel so stress is ME!!

I just don't know where to start for her revision. P1 is definitely not the same as K2. She has to use her thinking cap more.

What I'm worry about is the careless mistake. Don't know how to do is more acceptable than being careless. I just have to remind her to CHECK and CHECK her work before hand over to her teacher.

On the other hand, I have two projects to complete. Just let me name them as "Project L1" and "Project L2".

So if you don't see me around, meaning I'm working very hard to accomplish that projects. By the way, these projects are for a lady out there who also the name starts with "L".

Project "L" for "L".

"Jangan nak sebok suruh aku online ek!"

GOT TRISHAW?

My almost 3 years old Affandy has attended pre-school since the beginning of the year. Within three months of schooling, I have notice some positive changes in him.

As any 3 years old kid, he can easily recognize and count numbers from one to twenty, sometimes with some missing numbers. He can also recognize each and every alphabets.

He can also now pronouce his full name, complete with his abah's name.

His communication skills are also getting better and clearer. So far I can understand what he's trying to tell me, even though some of his words are not being pronounced correctly.

In school, he has learnt some songs. Some are common nursery rhymes which I'm familiar with. But this one particular song which I knew my mom or my late grandmother had sung to me when I was a kid. The problem is, till now I have forgotten the full lyrics.

The song goes like this.....

Ting, ting, ting, ada beca
Beca beroda tiga
Ku naik dengan bapa
Pergi keliling kota

Ta, ta, ta.... *blank*

Affandy kept singing this song. But when it comes to the second verse, he would wait for me to finish the whole song.

As I cannot remember, I tried to create my own lyrics. But this boy is smart, he would say, "Ummi salah!" in an angry tone.


...The Angry Boy...

How am I supposed to know the correct lyrics?? Anyone can help me?

DAY 3

Alhamdulillah....

It's been three days since I sent my kids to school on my own.

It's not that bad actually. I just have to tell myself that this arrangement is going to be my routine.

We have to take 2 buses in order to reach Afiqah & Affandy's school. It seems that my kids enjoyed taking the public buses. They did not complain of the hot wheather. As the buses were not crowded when we aboard, they got to choose where to sit. And the buses are air-conditioned.

After sending the two smaller kids, Afrina and I took another direct bus to her school. The journey takes about half an hour, so this is the time where I lean back and close my eyes, to rest. Afrina will nudge me once we reach her school.

Then I walked a 10 mins distance to home. I have less than an hour to cook, clear some housework, perform my prayer, before I leave home again to fetch Afiqah and Affandy.

I walked a lot during those trips. I took it as a form of exercise. And I perspire a lot too. I carry an umbrella along so I will not get the direct sunlight. I think I need to get a good walking shoes. My feet's aching a little bit due to lots of walking.

ALONE AND LONELY

I shouldn't let all my kids to sleep over at my in-laws' place, when Hubby is not in town. I should at least have Afrina stay with me, instead of sleeping alone, last night.

My parents-in-law insisted that all my three kids to sleep over at their house. They have some religious functions to attend and wished to bring the kids along.

Actually Afrina was reluctant to follow, as she wanted to keep me company. But MIL wanted all of them, just for one night. I could not bear to say no, so I told Afrina, it's only for a night. So, last night, I slept alone.

It was a BIG mistake.

I thought I enjoyed my time being alone at home, but I felt lonely instead.

It was alright at first, as I got to spend my time with some good friends on early part of the day.

But the loneliness hit me when I was alone.

I switched on the TV, but the TV watched me instead.

I bought some food for dinner, and yet it's so hard swallow. And the food was left unfinished.

I lie down on my sofa, and just stared at the ceiling fan.

Once a while, I kept looking at my kids' closed bedroom doors, hoping that they would come out from that rooms.

Yes, I miss the noise, I miss the bickering, the squabbling, the shouting, the whining, the laughing etc.

It's already bad enough that I miss Hubby, and I had to miss my kids too.

The pain and the yearning was so unbearable. And I tried so hard not to cry. I hate to cry alone.

I want my kids back!!! I called my in-law hoping that she would understand and send them back to me, but my kids were all asleep. So I slept alone, aching to hold and kiss them goodnight.

But that was yesteday. They are back now safely in my arms.

And things go back to square one - the noise, the mess, the spills.

This time it's ok, I want it to be that way. I want my kids to be here with me, waiting for their abah to return home (that will be another week).

Tomorrow will be the day that I have to send them to school on my own. I really hope the weather will be kind, so I can send them without much problem. I know it ain't easy at first, but the arrangement will become a routine once I get use to it.

So if you do not see any updates here for sometime, don't blame me, BLAME THEIR SCHOOL BUS OPERATOR!!!! They take away my free time!! Cheh...!

AGAIN

Starts missing him already.....again.

THANK YOU

Great friends, great company, great makciks!!

Thank you for the laughter.

Thank you for the juicy stories.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for chocolates from Switzerland.

Thank you for the sandwiches.

Thank you for the cake.

Thank you for the blue water and ice specially for ME.

Thank YOU for being there for me when I asked for a meet-up.....

You all know who you are!!

LALALALALALALA.......

The man of the house IS BACK!!!

But only for a few days. He will fly off again soon....

Let me spend my time with him, while he's HERE!!

Yeee har....!!!!

THANK GOD

I really feel blessed that I have the privilege to become a homemaker.

Not meaning to be unkind to other mothers who choose otherwise or with no other choice. But I just want to let out that I'm really very happy to be a SAHM this very moment.

This is what happened.

Afrina had a bad cough since the last three days. Before she went to school yesterday, she was fine, except for her coughing. But once she reached school, she called me from the public phone, saying she felt so feverish.

I was worried that she would throw up cause this girl of mine could vomit so easily.

So I asked her to ask permission from her form teacher and to call me back.

Half an hour later, her form teacher called me and asked to fetch Afrina back.

Without delaying, I went to her school and picked her up.

True enough, she's burning hot and she was so weak and feeble.

I brought her to the doctor and she was given 2 days MC.

Just imagine, what will happen if I were to work at my previous workplace, in Jurong? And my daughter call me up to fetch her home? What if anything happen before I manage to be there with her?

I am so thankful that I am given the chance to take care of my sick child. Though I may be exhausted and dead beat at times, still I feel contented. They are under my care and I love them very much.

And I know, even when I do make mistake as a parent, they still accept me and love me as I am with their pure, innocent hearts.

They are my love, my life.....

I SURVIVED

So far so good.

I have survived with the kids for a week without Hubby in town.

I'm still annoyed over the Thursday's incident, but I've moved on. I'll just take it as a pinch of salt.

I think I have done my best to keep my kids busy during the school holidays. From movie to library, playground and having meals at fast food restaurant, even swimming. I'm glad that they had a good time with me.

Occasionally, Afiqah and Affandy would ask for their Abah, and my answer was simple - "Abah work". Period. No point telling them the whole story, as they will ask me the same question again and again.

This is how they show when they miss their Abah.

Afrina is forever writing letters to him. I know somehow she would feel relieved when she wrote the letters.

Tomorrow school re-opens and life will be back to routine. Again.

THAT house!

I was supposed to feel welcome when I went to THAT house yesterday.

But I did not.

I felt like an outcast, an outsider and a loner!

When I stepped in, everything was fine at first. The salams, the greetings, the small conversation, the jokes.

But when a lady with two kids came later on, suddenly I become invisible and unnoticed.

Please do not get me wrong. I love this lady and her two kids. They're lovely. And I am not jealous of them.

But the hosts' attitude towards me and my kids, made me so sad. It's so obvious, I swear anyone would have notice.

She drove her own car to THAT house, they said, if only I have my driving licence, then I could drive Hubby's car when he's not in town.

So what if I do not have a driving licence? What's the big deal of having one?

Yeah right, Hubby is working oversea at the moment and our car is being stranded at the car park. Just because she can drive and has her own car, so I should follow suit?? Oh please!! I have other priority in my life, hokay!!

She brought some food to THAT house, they praised and eulogized that food, as though she had put gold on the dining table! The food that I prepared with my bare hands were nothing compared to hers.

And someone living in THAT house kept repeating about how spicy my cooking was and he and his poor friends who happened to share food, visited the toilets soooo many times because of the dish that I cooked!! The dish was Asam Pedas, and it was SUPPOSED to spicy right? That's why it's being called Asam PEDAS!

If my cooking are not up to their standard, then stop asking what I cooked when they visit my house!! Arrrgggghhhh..........!!!

They played with my kids before the other two kids came. But later, what I heard was, "Afrina, don't do that! Afrina, please don't behave like that! Afrina, Afiqah, lower your voice! Affandy, don't be so rough! blah blah blah"

So the other two were saint, and my kids were that bad, huh?

And the lists go on and on and on.....

I felt so relieved when I left THAT house with my kids. I took a cab home. It's not THAT bad taking a cab home, hokay! I can take care of my own kids.

At this point, I really need Hubby to be here with me.....

I want him to know what's going on in my mind. I need him here with me.....

DEAD

They are ALL dead!!

When we woke up this morning, the fishes are DEAD!!

Afiqah blamed Affandy as he loves to knock the fish tank and frightened all the fishes to die.

Affandy said it's because Ummi never gave them biscuits. Huh?

Afrina just can't wait to tell his Abah of the dead fishes.

Now the hot topic in this house is about DEAD FISHES.

Yikes!!!!

MISSING HIM, AGAIN.....

We will be missing him again. He is gone to work oversea, while we are stuck here.

We were supposed to join him for a week during the school holidays. But we gasped at the price of the airtickets. It's just not worth. Might as well we save a litle more and go somewhere further, real holiday for the whole family.

So in the meantime, I'm here with the kids. I just have to keep the kids busy and make their time well spend on these school holidays.

So far so good. We have been out these two days. Meals at McDonalds', movie, Timezone, library etc.

On Monday, Afiqah went to follow the excursion organized by her school to Kids Kampong. And she brought back about 12 small fishes. When we reached home, 2 died. Luckily we kept a small fish tank at home and that's their home now. 3 died this afternoon, and I wonder how long the fishes can survive in the that small tank and eating bread everyday. I'm not sure they died due to insufficient of clean air and water or they just don't eat bread. I don't have anything else to offer the fishes.

Why on earth, Afiqah brought back those fishes!!

THE VENT

Heh heh.....

*Wiping dusty blog*

The PARADISE thingy only last a few days, or should I say, nights. Now I'm back to the REALITY island.

I was not actually that busy to update, I'm just plain L-A-Z-Y.

There's nothing much to update anyway.

But today I need to vent out!

Since the school started in January, I have been enjoying my 3 hours of free time. The free time starts from sending Afrina to take her school bus till fetching Afiqah and Affandy from the downstairs.

My 3 hours of free time were mainly being spent in front of the PC, chatting with my MSN buddies. Sometimes I went out for lunch with some friends and did some shopping on my own. A few times I cleared the house chores.

Sad to say that.....with effect from April, the 3 hours of free time will be taken away from me.

Why?

Thank you to the bus operator for my two youngest kids! They raised the bus fare not once, but TWICE this year!!! I know they will raise again in July, just like previous years. And I have to pay for two kids. On top of that, I also have to pay for the school holidays in June and December.

After doing extreme calculations and a lot of thinking, I decided to send and fetch them MYSELF.

But then there's Afrina. If I were to send the other two to school, Afrina will not be in time for her school bus.

Got to crack my brains to think of the solutions.

In the end, my decision is.....

I'll send all three MYSELF!!

So I have to sacrifice my free time for them. We have to leave home as early as 10.30 a.m to send Afiqah and Affandy to school. Then I'll send Afrina to school. I will have about half an hour for me to go back home and have a quick lunch and perform my prayer. By 1.45 p.m I have to leave home to fetch Afiqah and Affandy. We will reach home almost 3 pm.

Upon reaching home, I have to entertain those two, cook, housework etc....

Later at 6.15 pm, I have to drag them both to fetch their eldest sister. I have to pray hard that they do not take their afternoon nap at that time. I have no strength to carry them all the way to Afrina's school. And I do not dare to leave them on their own, at home, sleeping. So either I have to keep them busy and awake, or wake them up before 6 p.m if they sleep.

I don't see any free time for me to even check my emails.

Haizzzzz......This is my life, as an Ummi!

HE'S BACK!!

She cried upon seeing her Abah.....


The happy faces with their Abah....

Even though it was 2.00 am, the kids were ecstatic and overjoyed when their Abah returned.

Errr...no need to talk about the Ummi, cause she's still in P-A-R-A-D-I-S-E!!

Heh..Heh...