Friday, July 11, 2008

It's been ELEVEN years

Alhamdulillah.

ELEVEN blissful years of marriage.

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect."

~ (QS Ar-Rum 30:21)



Thursday, July 10, 2008

I Can't Explain You

This poem is written by Aaron Haroon Sellars, which Syekh Khalil Moore recited during his lecture at Singapore Post.

Aaron Haroon Sellers wrote this poem from his heart...

Syekh Khalil Moore recited this poem from his heart...

And I, the listener, cried and I can feel our beloved prophet, Rasulullah's (s.a.w) love for us, but what have I done to return his love? Was my selawat for him enough to return his love?


I Can’t Explain you! (Oh Messenger of God)

I could not write about you
For fear
Fear of your presence
And fear of
My hearts' brittleness
That I might die
In this pursuit
Yet wishing to die
In this state of intoxicated love
This is the conflict within me
Language cannot explain
Except the language of tears and laughter
Even the molecules of my body
Shake and tremble
With awe and excitement!

I just can't explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Sometimes I forget
To say "Prophet" before your name
Not from heedlessness
But from desirous haste
To just say your name!
Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad!

I just can't explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Oh the mystery of how
You have captured my heart
As a Christian
I loved the Prophets before you
But with you
I get them all!
I can love
Abraham, Moses and Jesus
Just by loving you!
Without this love
Your nation falls
With it
They are purified and irresistible!
Let those who
Possess this love
Not be stingy
Take it to the marketplace!
The workplace
And especially the home

It's hard to explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Seeing the land of your life
causes some to live
And seeing your grave
Causes some to die
Nothing is more difficult
Than you
In my youth
I have written easily
My love for many
But when I encountered you
The translator of my heart
Fell mute
Lost in inexplicable wonder!

That is hard to explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

You sacrificed for me
Before I was even born
How should I thank you
As I now walk upon the earth?
My heart holds your love
My tongue sends you blessings
But it is my limbs
That often fall short
All this controversy about you
A proof of the veil
On your enemies hearts
And a proof against those
Who only follow you with words
But don't turn your face from me
As I reach for a drink
From your soft hands

Because it's hard to explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!



Masya'Allah.....


.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Soalan Demi Soalan

Apakah aku sudah bersedia menerima undangan Allah?

Apakah yang telah aku sediakan dalam menerima undangan Allah?

Sanggupkah aku meninggalkan segalanya demi untuk memenuhi undangan Allah?


Apa sebenarnya yang harus aku siapkan?

"Apa jua kebaikan yang kamu kerjakan adalah diketahui oleh Allah dan hendaklah kamu membawa bekal dengan cukupnya kerana sesungguhnya sebaik-baik bekal itu ialah memelihara diri (dari keaiban meminta sedekah) dan bertakwalah kepadaKu wahai orang-orang yang berakal (yang dapat memikir dan memahaminya)."
~ Surah Al-Baqarah (2:197)

Untuk memenuhi syarat bertaqwa, harus ada Islam, Iman dan Ihsan.

Tetapi, Islamkah aku ini?

Ya Allah, perjalanan ku masih jauh......dan bekalan ku tidak mencukupi untuk aku bawa ke sana..... :'(




.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Allah, The Sustainer

Lesson learnt from my Kuliah Hadith.

Allah limit the provisions (rezki) in order to balance His slaves. Some slaves are destined to be rich, and some are poor. Allah wants those who are rich, to donate to the poor, while the poor supplicates for the rich.


"Verily, Allah is the All-Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong."

~ Surah Az-Zhariat (51 : 58)

"Beautified is the life of this world for those who disbelieve, and they mock at those who believe. But those who obey Allah's Orders and keep away from what He has forbidden, will be above them on the Day of Resurrection. And Allah gives (of His Bounty, Blessings, Favours, Honours, etc. on the Day of Resurrection) to whom He wills without limit."

~ Surah Al-Baqarah (2 : 212)

"And surely, We gave you authority on the earth and appointed for you there in provisions (for your life). Little thanks do you give."

~ Surah Al-A'raf (7 : 10)

"To Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth, He enlarges provision for whom He wills, and straitens (it for whom He wills). Verily! He is the All-Knower of everything. "

~ Surah As-Syura (42 : 12)

"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things."

~ Surah At-Tholaq (65 : 2-3)


Allah provides everything for all His slaves, all rezki come from Allah, not from humans.



.

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Tears

Ya Allah, aku terima undangan Mu...

Aku hadir di sisi Mu...

Aku serahkan diriku pada Mu...

Aku redha dengan segala pemberian Mu...




And I cried and cried and cried repeating the above.

Allah makes my last Sunday, a tear-shedding day.

A day to let out whatever was inside the heart.

I am grateful for that.


.

I Am A Seeker.....

All these while, I didn't realize that I am actually a seeker. A seeker of solace.

Attending the Syekh Khalil Moore's short-but-full-of-knowledge lecture, last Saturday, really struck me. His words just stunts the mind. MasyaAllah....

What I learnt from him, in order to cleanse the heart, get rid of these ten detestable traits :-


1. enviousness

2. arrogance

3. hatred

4. backbiting

5. self-promotion

6. finds fault of others

7. finds joy upon knowing the bad news of others and vice-versa

8. hypocrisy

9. difficulty in accepting truth, plunged in own way, debating or arguing on the truth

10.ostentation, pretentious or showy


Can I cleanse my heart of those 10 traits?

And I'm still seeking, ya Allah.....



.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Love At First Heard

If I did not make an effort to find knowledge, I will always be in the dark.

Yesterday I "forced" myself to attend a night kuliah at Masjid Al-Iman. And I fell in love with it!!

Among other things, I've learnt that :

(Allah creates) This earth is a place for us to sujood, so there is NO EXCUSE for us to not to perform sholat. Sholat can be done anywhere (not just in mosque), as long as the place for sujood is clean. The keyword Ustaz stressed was, NO EXCUSE.

Reminder to myself, don't make ANY excuse to skip Sholat, or to delay the Sholat. I believe that a busy life makes the Sholat harder; but the Sholat makes a busy life easier.

Beautiful, isn't it?


.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Simple Message

It's amazing how a simple message of LOVE received at 4.47 A.M....

can make me cry...

can make me wanna be so close to Allah...

can make me realized I am full of sins...

can make me feel how close I am to death...

can make me truly accept the fact that I am nothing in this world...

It all started from a message from someone who loves me, for the sake of Allah.

Jazakillah bi khair, to the sender of this message.

I love you too, for the sake of Allah.

The Silaturahim



I love them, for Allah's sake.

Though the meeting was only for an hour, it's all that we need.

The silaturahim.....

Monday, June 23, 2008

I have to put this up.

He's FIVE years old today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUHAMMAD BAQIR AFFANDY.

You are a precious gift from ALLAH, to me.....Alhamdulillah.




Monday, June 16, 2008

The Only Places I Wanna Go Again

and again and again and again and again .......

Madinah Al-Munawwarah AND Mekah Al-Mukaramah.

Period.

The heat, the striking hot weather, the burning skin, the rashes, the dust, the bleeding nose, the crowd...seems like nothing when I was inside the MOST beautiful places on earth, Masjidil Haram An-Nabawi AND Masjidil Haram Mekah.

MASYA'ALLAH....MASYA'ALLAH...MASYA'ALLAH is the only word I could write now.

I cried like baby when I did my last prayer at Masjidil Nabawi...

I cried so hard when I did my last prayer at Masjidil Haram...

I don't know when I can set my foot on those places again. InsyaAllah this coming Hajj? I don't know.....

What I know is that, I cried a lot at those two Masjidil Haram. Like I wrote in my previous entry, it's a journey of a million teardrops. And it was....

Back to reality, I have loads of laundry to clear.

I have 7 luggages to unpack.

I have more than 1000 photos to upload.

I have lots and lots of things to write and share.

But I can't do it overnight.

At this moment, I need rest. In my sleep, I want to dream of those two places.

I want to go back there.....

Sunday, June 01, 2008

It's Gonna Be Different

My intention is only for ALLAH.

And I want to be there with my RASULULLAH.

I am leaving right after my Subuh prayers tomorrow. Everything is almost ready. I am touched by the visiting and unceasing do'a from all my fellow sisters-in-Islam. I cried hard for that.

If only I could bring all of them with me, I would.

This Umrah trip will be different from the one I went in 1997. I was young then. I went for the sake of going, and I was not there full-hearted.

This time it's gonna be different. I am ready and I submit and surrender myself to my Creator.....ALLAH.....

"Allah yang mencukupi segalanya. Dialah yang aku tuju. Dialah yang mencukupi segala sesuatu, Dialah yang mencukupi aku."

Please pray for me.... :'(

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Journey Begins Soon

I'm nervous. But I'm ready.

I am ready for a journey of a million teardrops. A journey I know that I will face trials and tribulations.

I can't wait to step into Masjid Nabawi at Madinah Al-Munawarrah.

I long to face and gaze the Kaabah at Masjidil Haram.

Ya Allah, please make it easier for me to be near my Rasulullah...

Grant me with all the khusyu' to pray and supplicate in front of Baitullah...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Too Much

All these while,

...I've said too much.

...I've talked too much.

I've failed to prevent my tongue from talking about unbeneficial topics. I've let my tongue loose. I could not keep my mouth shut.

"Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira 'narrated from the Prophet who said "Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it." ~ Sahih Bukhari"

"Had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy unto you in this world and in the Hereafter, a great torment would have touched you for that whereof you had spoken. When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great. ~ Surah An-Nur : 14-15"

Astaghfirullah.....Astaghfirullah.....

Ya Allah, please stop me before I say anything unuseful. Give me a chance to think and consider before I blurt out my words. Make it easy for me to zikr to you...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

It's all so worth it.....

.....the standing for almost at the whole event,

.....the running here and there,

.....the enduring under the hot blazing sun,

.....the sweat,

.....the aching feet,

.....the migraine,

.....the hungry,

.....the thirst.....

Upon seeing about 10,000 Muslims and Muslimah gathered, despite the very hot wheather, for the sake of Allah and our Rasulullah s.a.w.









Alhamdulillah.....

Friday, May 16, 2008

I wanna be there

I'm nervous and I can't wait for this Sunday.

InsyaAllah, together with estimated about 12,000 people, and I will be one of them.

I'm more excited thinking that I am one of those volunteers involved in this Majlis Maulidur Rasul.

....Rabbi yassir wa laa tu'assir....

It's all for Allah's sake....

And it's because of you, Ya Rasulullah....

Grant me with your syafa'at, I want to there with you at Padang Masyar.





Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Death

Today I've learnt about death. I attended a Dhuha class, and the topic was all about death.

Ustaz depicted about how it feels like to be on the verge of death. What do we actually feel on our sakaratul maut. Some death may be easy, some death takes very long.

Ustaz asked us to hold our breath as long as we could, and decribed what did we feel at that point. There were some mixed answers : uncomfortable, pain, dizzy, desperately gasping for air etc.

But all agreed on one thing - SCARED...

Once we are on the verge of death, Allah will open the hijab to another world - the halfway to the hereafter. The world where we can see Jin and Syaitan. At that point, we will feel terribly thirsty. They will disguise as our love ones (those who are closed to our hearts), and offer us a drink. At the same time, persuading us to deny that Allah is not our God. Na'uzubilllah minzalik!!

Ya Allah....I seek your forgiveness.

Ya Allah....Please bless me with your rahmat, taufiq and hidayah.

Ya Allah....I pray for Husnul Khatimah.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Patience

It's easier to say than done.

I try to instil patience to my three children, but before I can do that, I have to show them what is patience is all about.

I have to be patience myself, so they can follow me.

But like I said, it's easier to say than done.

A little provocation can make me lose patience.

I have so much to learn to control my anger and zip my mouth.

Astaghfirullah......Astaghfirullah....

Friday, May 02, 2008

Zzzzzzz.......

Allah pulls back the nikmat in life as we grow older..

But InsyaAllah, HE will replace with better ones.

I used to NOT taking afternoon naps and I could still slept late and woke up early.

But now, it's different.

I dozed off when I attended my night class. And it happened twice already. And I don't like it a bit - feeling sleepy at class.

I struggled to keep awake, to the extend that I even pinched myself. Ouch!! But it did not help.

I want to stay wide awake during those classes as all the ilmu on the classes are very precious to me. Too good to be missed!!

So now, though I don't like it, if I have night class to attend, I try to nap for maximum half an hour during the day. I do not wish to take a long nap as I will get difficultly to sleep at night.

Tonight I am so free as my Halaqah class has ended. I'm looking around to attend any night class on Friday.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Cry

I want to cry hard....for Allah.

I want to cry more....for Rasulullah.

I need THEM for my akhirat.

I do not want to pull my husband to hell for my sins.

I do not want to pull my son to hell for my sins.

I do not want to pull my father for my sins.

Ya Allah...I beg your sympathy and forgiveness.

*sob sob*

Friday, April 25, 2008

Another Day

ALLAH is kind to me.

He gives the taste of being sick since yesterday, But I am grateful for that.

I can still presume my normal routine chores.

I pray. I do laundry. I cook. I vacuum the house. I change the carpet. I even got the strength to sit in front of the PC.

HE makes me fall sick, and I shall go to HIM for prescription.

ALHAMDULILLAH....

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Chosen One

Someone close called me up the other day and asked me, how come I was not one of the chosen one?

After having some thoughts about it, I came up with these...

It's inevitable to feel disappointed when I am not the chosen one. I asked lots of questions wondering what it takes to make me the chosen one.

It is trust? Or how long I should know that person? Does it base on my ability and compassion?

Should I be disappoint when not given the privilege to read/view something exclusive and private?

Maybe the right word to describe the disappointment is "being left out".

But I forget one very important thing. Actually it's okay to be left out on the above situation. As it only happen in this WORLD.

I should be real disappoint when not chosen by ALLAH for his taufiq and hidayah.

I should cry hard when not given by ALLAH His compassionate guidance.

My heart should break when I fail to remember ALLAH when HE is there for me every seconds of my life.

I AM NOTHING without ALLAH's love.....

Death is CONFIRMED, but life only...INSYAALLAH.....

When one door is shut on me, I know there's lots of other opening doors waiting for me to enter. ALLAH is far and just.

And the latest, I was welcomed to join an exclusive "cats group of people." Heh heh....

So do I still feel disappointed for the above "human" reason.

Totally NO.

I can smile now. ALHAMDULILLAH....

Monday, April 21, 2008

Here I Am

It's been almost a year I left this blog alone.

But this fingers of mine have been itching to blog again.

So....InsyaAllah, I'll start to write again.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I'M OUT!!!

I'm so lethargic to update my blog lately. I think I lost interest in blogger, again. And I don't think anybody comes here and read anymore.

But I can be found here. Feel free to add me as contact.

Have a bless day, everyone!!

:)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

He wants it, he got it......



Hubby got himself a new toy today......NOKIA N95

He's been eyeing it for so long and been patiently wait for its launch, now he owns it.

I should feel envy, but this time I'm happy for him.

This is his first ever BRAND NEW EXPENSIVE handphone he got for himself.

He's previous handphones were either second-hand (I was the first user) or he got it free when he signed a new contract with the service provider.

So you see, that's why I don't envy that he got his dream phone. But he knows me so well, even though I acted like I'm cool about it, my hands were soooo itchy to try the phone. And he let me played with it first. Yeah!!

While my fingers pressing here and there, I was like, "wah.....!", "kencang seh...!", "eh best nye..!", "wow....!", "fuhyoh...!" etc.

The best part was that, he told the kids, "All of you cannot touch this handphone, only UMMI and ABAH".

The kids were complaining, "TAK FAIR!! Ummi aje boleh..."

Abuthen?? I'm the MOTHER, hokay!!

Heh heh......

Saturday, April 21, 2007

DEAD BEAT PART 2

Let me continue.......

Monday, 16 April 2007

I was exhausted. I had diarrhea. And Afiqah still burning with fever.

This time I took her to the doctor and she got 2 days of MC. Affandy also did not go to school as I was so tired to send and fetch him.

I spent my Monday by going in and out of the toilet, taking care of the a sick Afiqah and kept shouting to a super hyper active boy at home!! *fainted*

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

My diarrhea was gone and I let Affandy go to school. Afiqah stayed at home and rest but I still tagged her along when I fetched Affandy from school. I was so relieved that Afiqah was getting better.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

I received a sad news from MIL when I was waiting to fetch my kids from school. Hubby's grandmother passed away in Malacca. I was so shocked and it left me speechless for a moment. My body was shaking and I held up my tears. After I regained control of my emotion, I called Hubby and we decided to drive to Malacca soonest possible. I went home straight and started to pack up, while Hubby rushed back and fetched Afrina from school. Together with my PILs, we drove straight to Malacca without stopping. We reached there in less than 3 hours.

We were just in time to see Nenek. We were the last one to say goodbye to her. I cried hard. Just last month we went to visit Nenek, and now she's gone......

Al-Fatihah for Nenek, Hajjah Aminah Binte Yunus....... We gonna miss you so much.....



We stayed in kampong for the night. I went to bed at 2 a.m but I could not sleep.

Thursday, 19 April 2007

We had to rush back to Singapore and left Malacca about 10.30 a.m. This was the sad moment for us. We salam, hugged and kissed our kampong relatives. We cried. We felt the loss of Nenek. They made us promise to come back even when Nenek is not around anymore. InsyaAllah....... even though they are far, they are near in our hearts. We will definitely come back to kampong to visit them.

We left with heavy hearts.........

We reached home about 3 p.m. I was so tired and sleepy that I took a nap. I checked on Afiqah, I thought she could attend school next day.

Friday, 20 April 2007

Just as I thought everything was fine now, but it wasn't. As I was about to give Afiqah a bath, I was surprised when I looked at her body. Rashes all over!!! I got panicked. Is this chicken pox or HFMD? They're so red and she said it's itchy.

I got Hubby to send Affandy to school and I sent Afiqah to see the doctor again. I was so relieved when doctor said it's not chicken pox or HFMD. It's a type of rashes due to dust or allergy. Phewww........

Even though she has rashes all over, her is back to her real self.

Today, Saturday, 21 April 2007

With Afiqah having rashes and it's raining right now, we stay at home. We may be going out for dinner later at night.

I want my strength and energy back.......

Friday, April 20, 2007

DEAD BEAT PART 1

So many things happened for the past one week. One after another. At this moment, I am physically and mentally tired. I have yet to regain my strength back. Let me try to recall what happened since last week Wednesday.

Wednesday - 11 April 2007

Out of the sudden, Afiqah's temperature rose. From a cheerful and energetic girl, she became so quiet and her just kept to herself. I self-medicated her and hopefully she could have peaceful night sleep. But she kept waking up and cried. I lost my sleep for that night.

Thursday - 12 April 2007

Afiqah was absent but I let Affandy went to school. Since Hubby could not be released from his work, I had to fetch Affandy from school. I had no choice but to drag Afiqah along as no one's to take care of her. Her fever went up and down and I continued to self-medicated her. She still woke up and cried at night and I lost my sleep again.

Friday - 13 April 2007

Afiqah's fever was gone so she went to school. But in the late afternoon, again her temperature rose and again I self-medicated her. And once more I had only a few hours of sleeping.

Saturday - 14 April 2007

Afiqah's fever was on and off.

I've been busy baking and making last minute preparation for my BIL's engagement. I made some gubahans for the hantarans. I baked more than 500 pcs of mini cupcakes. I also made puddings. After Maghrib, we went to MIL's house to send over the kuehs and did some touch-ups on the hantarans gifts. When we reached home about 11 pm, I put my kids to sleep and continued with preparing the ingredients for Udang Sayur Masak Lemak. I slept at 2 a.m.

Sunday - 15 April 2007

This was the busiest day of the my life. This was the day my BIL got engaged.

I woke up at very early to cook the Udang Sayur Masak Lemak. Got my kids ready for the occasion and off we went to collect the hantaran cup cakes which I ordered from a friend. I ordered two more kuehs from an online friend and I am so grateful that she offered to deliver over to my MIL's house.

Only Allah knows how busy I was. I divided myself into two, being a obligated DIL and an apprehensive mother with a sick child. Yes, my Afiqah was still sick with fever and flu.

I'll talk more on my BIL's engagement day when I upload the photos.

After the last guest left, I helped MIL to clean up the mess. We reached home almost 11 pm and I was totally worn-out!!

To be continued......

Monday, April 09, 2007

THE FRIDAY

We did go out on last Friday. Hubby came back around 6 pm and off we go to Orchard Road!!

Hubby parked the car at Royal Park Hotel and did his prayer there. While waiting for Hubby, my kids and I waited at the hotel lobby as though we were one of the guests there. I got the kids to pose and I took their pics. Even the hotel's staff greeted us. Hahahaha......!

It's been a long time since we went to Far East Plaza. I used to worked with the management before I was married. So much changes and all the tenants that I knew were no longer there.

We walked around and decided to have our dinner at one of the Malay restaurant on the 5th floor. The food was good but the service sucks!!

When Afrina's food was served and she was about to eat (only few seconds to reach her mouth), the man asked her to stop eating and took back the food!! He said the food was meant for the other table!! Then he served the same plate to the other table.

Sheeesshh....! Macam gini punya orang pun ada!

What happened if Afrina already eaten the food? Would he still served to the other table?

Pity Afrina, while waiting for her food, she licked the fork and spoon..... Betul punya lapar anak dara aku......

We are so NOT going there again!!

I planned to took some night view pictures of Orchard Road. I brought along my camera stand. But I forgot to charge the battery earlier and it went flat!! Weak ah....

So after dinner, we thought of strolling along Orchard Road, but Afiqah started to get crancky, saying that she was tired and sleepy. Spoil ah....

Siang suruh tido taknak, bila nak jalan penat!!

So, we pun baliklah!!

Friday, April 06, 2007

WHAT HOLIDAY??

Today is a public holiday, and it's supposed to be A holiday.

What is a holiday means to me?

It means.....

- no cooking (checked)
- no tedious housework (well...just the laundry)
- no school (checked)
- must go out (arrrgggghhh.....!)

This is the setback. We really have no idea where to go but we will definitely go out, no matter what. I was ready, and the kids were ready. Once Hubby came back from his Friday prayer, we planned to have lunch and just roam around Singapore.

But.....

His pager beeped, and off he went to attend the customer's stupid machine problem!!

Die die also must attend!!

Leaving me and the kids at home, all dressed up, feeling very hungry.

We waited and waited and waited, who knows he could come back fast and we could have our lunch together.

It was 3.30 pm and the kids were starving, I was starving too!!

And this Ummi, die die also didn't want to cook (holiday what!!)

So off we went to, where else, the nearest makan place which is just across the road.

Hah kau, lantaklah kami anak beranak!!

Even Afiqah which is not a rice-person, asked for chicken rice. (Obviously she's famished)

Still hoping the Hubby would come back soon, so went home straight.

Hubby still not back yet, even while I'm typing this entry.

While waiting for their Abah, the girls are watching whatever DVD and Affandy is having his nap.

And all of us are still in our baju jalan, just waiting for that one phone call from Hubby.

Still waiting..........

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

P-M-S

The perils of being a woman......

I have to do something to control my anger during PMS. I think it has come to a dangerous stage where I have no idea what's got into me!

I get iritated simply over a small tiny matter.......

I flare up so easily....

I snap at my kids.....to the extent that I even hit them.

I don't remember being like this few years back.

Someone recommended me to take Evening Primrose. I did. Well, it do helps to balance up my hormones, but it makes me put on extra weight.

So I stop.

Now I just can't wait for the "red days" to come and be over with, so that I won't infuriate any further.

In the meantime, don't come near, I'll BITE!!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

THE CONVERSATION

I almost forgot that I have a blog to update.

Life has been pretty plain so far. Nothing much to talk about.

I am very grateful that Allah has opened another door for me to seek knowledge. Thank you to a friend that recommended me to that place. Though I have to travel quite a bit, bringing my two smaller kids along, I find it worthwhile. The timing is so right for me. There's also a mini playground for my kids to occupy themselves with. Meaning less interruption from them.

I am so looking forward for every Thursday.

**************************


I had a conversation with Affandy, this morning.

If Hubby is not in town, I have to send my two younger kids to school every morning. Like any other days, the bus was crowded with working adults. Affandy was asking why there were so many people in the bus.

My reply was because these people must take this bus to go to work.

Since he was quiet, I thought he got the picture.

Then I asked him, "Can Ummi go to work?"

Spontaneously he answered, "NO!!"

"Why?"

Innocently and purely he responded, "Ummi cannot work cause Ummi is a girl. Only boys go to work, like Abah."

Mmmmmm.......I like his reply. Untung siapa dapat kahwin dengan anak bujang aku!

But thinking back.....

Apa dia ingat Ummi dia ni tak keje kat rumah? Ummi cuma mengadap muka dia 24 jam!

:)

Monday, March 12, 2007

*GULP*

I'm kidless at the moment!

Yes, I'm alone at home. Syiokness to the max!!

My girls are at their ex-babysitter's house since last night.

My boy is on excursion. I'll be fetching him an an hour's time.

The girls will be back tonight and I shall bring home 1 more girl.

So tomorrow I shall have FOUR kids to look after!! *Gulp*

Thursday, March 08, 2007

KL....HERE I COME

Change of holidays plan.

Initial plan was to bring the kids to Sentosa and shopping at JB. But Hubby got better plans for us!!

We shall balik kampong (yes, really balik kampong) on Thursday and stay for one night. After Friday prayers, we shall zoom to KL!! Yahooooo.........!!

Monday, March 05, 2007

MY DAYS

Hubby is back since last Thursday.

My routine and mundane life continues as usual.

But since last Tuesday, I feel like a brand new person. I started something that I yearned to start long time ago. I've been searching for a place to start, but I did not realized that it can be started right at my own abode. Thank you Allah for making it so much easier for me.

Hubby came back from work so late on Friday night, but he purposely did not want to work on last weekends, just to spend quality time with us. I knew he was tired, but he was not in town for the last three weeks, so only on weekends he could make up the missing days with us.

On Saturday, we started with our late expensive lunch at a restaurant in Sembawang. (To me, over S$30 for a simple single meal for a family IS expensive). Then we headed to Vivocity and this was where Hubby gave in to the kids when they pleaded with him to buy some items from Toys'R'Us. The Cars collections for Affandy and make-up kits for the girls. As for me, I got to buy lenses for one-year usage. So kira fair and square lah, as each of us get something from Hubby.

After our weekly religious class on Sunday, we headed to Tebrau City, JB, for our lunch. I have no intention for shop as I know I will be back there on this coming March school holidays. After lunch, Hubby filled petrol for our car and we reached home before 5 pm.

I am so looking forward for the March school holidays as Hubby has confirmed taking leaves to bring us out. Yeah.......!

Monday, February 26, 2007

WHAT A FEELING!!

Alhamdulillah.....I feel so relieve....

Allah has make it easier for me.

Hubby has spoken up for me and hopefully the message has been crossed over to the other party.

I've gain my privacy back, and it's a feeling the I could not describe in words.

Thank you Allah.....

Thank you Hubby for doing the right thing......

Friday, February 23, 2007

THE DILEMMA

I'm in dilemma. And I hate this situation. Whatever decision made, I'm at the losing side.

Sometimes in this life, you have to choose, either to consider other people's feeling or to think of only yourself.

I've been keeping mum about it since the day Hubby left Singapore. But now I can't hold it any longer. I do not want my discomfort becomes hatred.

At first I thought 'someone' is sincere to help me out since Hubby is not in town. But then I realized that 'someone' took Hubby's absence for granted. Hubby's absence is more to that 'someone's' advantage. The pity for me is questionable and unconvincing.

To make the story short, I don't feel comfortable at my own abode. My privacy has been breached.

It's so unfair to me.....

I don't need anyone else to take over Hubby's fatherly duties.

I'm confident that I can manage on my own when Hubby is not in town. I know Allah will protect me and my children. This is not the first time Hubby works oversea. Somehow I have survived those ordeals. Alhamdulillah.....

So, I have to do something. I want my privacy and my rights back. I am willing to face any consequences from the decision that I've made.

Please Allah......

Make this easier for me.....

Please strengthen my faith in YOU.....

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFRINA

Happy 8th Birthday to my sweet honey, Afrina......



She is imaginative, kind, sympathetic, intuitive, visionary, sensitive, adaptable, receptive, a dreamer and romantic.

That's my AFRINA!!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFIQAH

Happy 5th Birthday to my sweet darling, Afiqah......



She is friendly, independent, quirky, willing, progressive, an original thinker, inventive, creative, loyal, idealistic yet rational and unpredictable.

That's my AFIQAH!!

Friday, February 16, 2007

AH CHONG & AH LIAN

My two youngest kids in their Chinese New Year costumes.....



AH LIAN


AH CHONG


Nak orange?? :)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

MISSING HIM.....

Hubby left for Kuching this morning.

Though he travels very often, I still feel the tinge of sadness and desolation when he is not around. I know I have my kids with me, I am not alone but I still sense the loneliness in me. It's just not the same......

Hubby will not be here on the long Chinese New Year holidays. I have make some plans for the kids on the holidays. I am not going to just laze around at home. I am going to bring the kids out to have fun.

Hubby also will not be here for our girls' birthday. I feel sad for them. Though Hubby had brought them birthday gifts in advance, he gave me the permission to buy another gifts for our girls. He never fail to please our kids.

During Hubby's absence, my major task is to wake Affandy and Afiqah up early in the morning and to send them to school. You know how grumpy kids will be when they are forced to wake up from their sleep. We have to leave house before 7.45 am in order to reach the school in time. I pray so hard that Allah will make my life easier on this.

InsyaAllah.......

Monday, February 12, 2007

WEEKEND FEVER

I'm not aware that fever is contagious.

It all started with Affandy. On Friday night, he started his whining and grouchy. He refused to eat his dinner. This is not his usual self. I knew something was not right,so I checked his temperature.

Arrrkkkksss.....It's over 38 degree celcius!!

And Saturday I had major plans for the kids. I prayed so hard that he would recover fast.

And he did!! Alhamdulillah....

So Saturday, after Afrina's madrasah class, we headed to a Fun Fair at Innova Junior Collage. Afrina brought her best friend, Ashurah, along. I bought two $10 coupons from Mummy Hestia (she's a teacher there). I thought two coupons were enough, end up we bought two more and a kind makcik gave us two more. I wanted to pay her but she refused to accept. She said she wanted to go home, might as well gave the coupons to the my kids.

So total we had 6 coupons!!

Some pictures to share the fun we had at the fun fair.....

Jumping up and down....


Eating chocolate muffins (specially baked by Hestia).....


Enjoying their ice-creams.......


Playing games.......


Quenching their thirst.....


Ummi cair under the hot sun.....


Ok, back to the fever.......

Later that night, Afiqah started to show signs of fever. I wasted no time in giving her panadol syrup and pasted cool-fever on her forehead.

Sunday morning her fever still there. We missed our weekly religious class, as Affandy just recovered and Afiqah was down with high fever.

Last night, Afrina's temperature shot up! Haizz...one after another. And I did not have a good sleep.

Affandy cried every hour due to his nose blocked.....
Afiqah woke up and threw up, and insisted to sleep beside me....
Afrina's temperature still high, even till now....

I have no choice but to let Afiqah and Afrina rest at home and skip school today. Only Affandy went to school this morning.

What a weekend.....

Friday, February 09, 2007

ACHE HERE, ACHE THERE

Today, Ummi is not her usual self.

Her whole body aches, especially her right hand. This is due to the whole 2 hours of non-stop ironing yesterday. She ironed and ironed and ironed till there's no more hangers left. But the task was not fully completed as there's more to iron. *faints*

Migraine hits the right side of her head. She is trying so hard not to bang her head against the wall due to the pain.

She patiently waiting for Ibu Wati to come to her rescue at 3 pm today. Ibu Wati will press here, press there, tickle here, tickle there, kerok here, kerok there, everywhere on Ummi's body. And Ummi don't mind. Cause it's been almost six month since Ummi's body had been tortured like that. And Ummi liokkeee it so much.

Ummi's kitchen will also be closed today due to her lemau-ness. Lunch will be at McDonalds for the kids and dinner will be from Banquet. Abah is not allowed to complaint, or Ummi blood will go upstairs. When Ummi is angry, she will bite.

*Ummi looking at the clock* 10 o'clock only???

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

"NAK UMMI! NAK UMMI!!"

Hampir tiap-tiap malam, aku dan Hubby pasti akan hadapi masalah ini. Sudah macam-macam cara kami cuba, baik cara lembut atau keras, pun tak jalan jugak. Bincang punya bincang, kami pun nak cuba cara lain.

Kunci pintu!!! (Korang jangan nak fikir bukan-bukan) :)

Tiap-tiap malam bila tiba waktu tidur, Afiqah mesti melalak dan sedu-sedan. Pasal apa? Sebab, "nak sleep dengan Ummi"!! Umur dah nak masuk 5 tahun, masih nak tidur dengan aku. Bilik dia dah ada katil sendiri, cadar Barbie (dia sendiri yang pilih), favourite cushions and dolls, mainan-mainan, dan entah apa-apa lagi. Semua dah complete. Tinggal tidur aje. Mula-mula aje bersemangat nak tidur sendiri, tapi dia cari jugak aku. Bukannya dia tidur sorang dalam bilik tu, kakak dia pun ada. Dua anak dara dalam satu bilik, dah ok kan tu?

Bila dia dah dapat tidur sendiri kat bilik dia, aku dan Hubby pun suka. Tapi tau-tau bangun pagi, si Afiqah terselit kat tengah-tengah katil aku. Sebokkan? Entah bila dia merangkak masuk, kadang-kadang kita pun tak perasan. Tidakkah itu MERBAHAYA??

Jadi, tadi malam, bila Afiqah dah masuk tidur, Hubby kunci pintu bilik kita. Pukul 2 pagi, aku tersedar bila dengar ada orang cuba nak buka pintu. Mula-mula Afiqah cuba buka pintu dengan perlahan. Bila dia tak dapat buka, dia pun apalagi, HENTAK, TENDANG, PEKIK, MELALAK & MERAUNG!! Aku diamkan dulu, mana tau dia give up ke. Tapi makin lama, makin kuat pulak. Sebelum dia kejut orang satu blok ni, dan sebelum polis datang, nak taknak terpaksa aku buka pintu. Tapi aku tak kasi dia masuk.

Kalaulah korang dengar rayuan dalam tangisan dia, boleh cair......

Dalam sedu-sedan, dia merintih, "Nak Ummi, nak Ummi, nak Ummi....."

Kalau ikut hati naluri aku, memang aku nak peluk dia, cium dia dan bawa dia masuk bilik aku. Tapi nanti aku dengan Hubby pulak bertekak. Dalam detik itu, aku rasa aku harus tegas dalam keputusan aku. Aku nekad untuk suruh dia tidur di katil sendiri. Aku pimpin dia dan baringkan di atas katil. Dia bangun balik dan peluk aku erat-erat. Nak taknak aku terpaksa tinggikan suara dan suruh dia pilih, nak tidur kat katil ke kat store? Budak tu dengar aje perkataan 'store' terus naik katil dia. Dia masih sedu-sedan, aku pujuk dia suruh tidur sebab kejap lagi nak bangun untuk ke sekolah. Aku cium dia dan terus masuk tidur.

Pagi tadi bila Hubby keluar bilik untuk sholat Subuh, Afiqah pun masuk bilik aku. Aku rasa dia dah bangun awal, tapi tunggu Abah dia keluar bilik, baru dia berani masuk.

Malam ini aku nak kunci pintu bilik lagi. Mudah-mudahan Afiqah tak bangun malam lagi untuk cari aku.

Friday, February 02, 2007

TOPIK HANGAT

Aku baru pulang dari berjumpa dengan dua orang rakan baik. Walaupun cuma kami bertiga yang ada, aku rasa terhibur. Tak lah boring sangat kat rumah. Lagipun hari ini hari Jumaat, kira besok tak payah stress pasal budak-budak pergi sekolah.

Antara topik yang kami bualkan, ialah pasal tunaikan fardhu haji pada usia muda. Setelah lama berkawan, barulah aku tahu rupanya S sudah pernah naik haji. Dia pergi pada usia yang amat muda dan sebelum berkahwin. Dia juga adalah seorang yang amat lembut tutur bahasanya dan teman yang baik. Beruntungnya dia sudah menjadi tetamu Allah muda-muda lagi....

N pula bercadang nak tunaikan umrah dulu sebelum haji. Aku pulak, tak kira haji ke umrah, aku ingin sekali lagi jejakkan kaki di tanah suci Mekah. Seandaikan ada kesempatan nak pergi Umrah, aku ingin bawak anak-anak aku sekali. InsyaAllah.....

Beruntung jugak aku dapat kawan macam N. Dia seorang guru yang bertauliah. Aku minta nasihatnya untuk membeli buku-buku assessment untuk anak-anak aku. Dari satu buku ke satu buku, belek punya belek, aku pun borong buku. Dia cakap nanti bila anak dah P3, kena belajar Science. Alamak! P2 pun aku masih terkial-kial nak ajar anak, apalagi nak fikir pasal P3. Itulah untungnya dapat member seorang teacher. Ada apa-apa masalah, sms aje! Boleh kan N? You're my fren... :)

Oleh kerana aku gemar menonton drama-drama melayu, entah macamana, topik sensitif pulak boleh terkeluar. Kita ada juga berbual pasal isteri yang dimadu. Kita cuba bayangkan jika perkara itu terjadi pada kita. Relakah kita menerima hakikat? Sudikah kita berkongsi kasih? Mampukah suami berlaku adil? Bagaimana dengan hati dan perasaan kita yang terluka? Aku rasa isteri tak akan bermadu jika suami tak curang belakang isteri. Tapi bila isteri dah dapat tahu suami dah jatuh hati pada wanita lain, haruskah isteri redha hubungan itu? Tiada siapa yang dapat memberi jawapan yang tepat.

Seorang teman aku, F, pernah cakap jika di akhirat kita nampak lelaki yang jalannya tempang, itulah suami yang ada lebih dari satu isteri tapi tidak berlaku adil. Suami jenis begini tak akan terlepas balasan di akhirat. Di dunia boleh suka-suka permainkan perasaan isteri, tapi di akhirat, jawablah nanti.

Aku rasa aku dah terlalu banyak menonton drama-drama Melayu kat TV. Macam terbawak-bawak pulak perasaan tu. Inilah kalau dah jadi surirumah. Sambil lipat kain ke, gosok baju ke, aku sambil-sambil tonton TV. Mata melekat kat TV, tapi tangan jalan jugak tau. Korang ingat surirumah ni macam tai-tai ke? Tak kerja tapi tiap bulan dapat duit dari suami. Habis jaga anak-anak, pergi pasar, masak, cuci lipat gosok kain baju, kemas rumah, hantar ambik anak-anak pergi balik sekolah, ajar anak-anak homework dan seterusnya, SEMUA TU BUKAN KERJA???

Aku ni sebenarnya tengah PMS, asyik nak melenting aje.....

Astaghfirullah'alazim.......

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

CERITA PASAL BAPAK MERTUA KU

Isnin kelmarin, aku sempat berbuka puasa di rumah mertua. Di samping bawak dua jenis lauk, aku sempat goreng jemput-jemput ikan bilis.

Abah (FIL) cakap ikan bilis dalam jemput-jemput tu, kurang. Aku sengaja kurangkan, takut termasin pulak. Maklumlah, orang berpuasa yang buat.

Semasa tunggu waktu berbuka, Abah berbual pasal Haji. Abah memang suka bercerita. Tak kira topic apa, boleh berjam-jam dengar cerita dia.

Baru aku tahu, pertama kali Abah menunaikan fardhu Haji ketika umurnya 36 tahun. Kira-kira umur Hubby sekarang. Abah cakap jika mampu, pergi Haji waktu usia muda. Nanti depan Kaabah, doa banyak-banyak agar kita dapat tunaikan Haji berkali-kali. Itulah yang dia lakukan. Aku tak dapa kira entah dah berapa banyak kali Ummi dan Abah dah pergi Haji.

Hubby cakap dia teringin nak tunaikan fardhu Haji dalam masa terdekat. Abah begitu gembira dengar Hubby cakap begitu. Abah kata, Hubby tak perlu risau pasal anak-anak, dia dan Ummi boleh jaga. Begitu juga pasal ongkos, Abah cakap kita tak perlu risau. Dia sanggup bayarkan atau jual kereta sekalipun, jika Hubby benar-benar nak naik Haji. Begitu sayangnya Abah pada anaknya hingga sanggup berkorban.

Tapi aku kenal Hubby, dia takkan menyusahkan orang, apalagi mak bapak sendiri. InsyaAllah, kita akan tunaikan fardhu Haji dengan duit kita sendiri.

Sempat jugak kita posing sebelum balik rumah.


Hari ini mood aku baik. Aku belanja Afiqah dan Affandy makan lunch kat McDonalds. Selalunya budak-budak tu yang sebok nak singgap Causeway Point bila balik sekolah. Kali ini Ummi dorang yang pelawa. Heh heh.....

Aku masak tau, bukannya tak masak. Oleh kerana aku tahu lauk aku pedas gilllerrr.... - lemak ikan cili padi, takkan nak suap budak-budak tu. Nanti baru satu suap, kepala dah basah dan hingus dah meleleh. Petang nanti baru boleh goreng sayur.

Nak kena fikir lauk untuk besok pulak. Dah nak masuk 10 tahun kahwin, otak ni macam dah jammed, tak tau nak masak apa.

Lengit.............!!!!

Monday, January 29, 2007

BAHASA IBUNDA KITA....

Setiap pagi Ahad, aku sekeluarga hadiri kuliah Dhuha di Masjid An-Nur. Sejuk hati ini setiap kali dengar ceramah Ustaz Shafi. Tersentuh sanubari bila kami beramai-ramai membaca zikir munajat. Terasa kerdilnya diri ini.....

Ketika kuliah sedang dijalankan, Ustaz kata sebentar nanti akan ada jenazah yang akan disholatkan di masjid. Ustaz juga menerangkan, betapa besarnya pahala sholat jenazah, sebesar Gunung Uhud. Sholatnya amat mudah, hanya empat takbir, tapi pahalanya......MasyaAllah.....

Jenazah pun sampai. Ustaz cakap betapa beruntungnya jenazah ini kerana Allah memberi peluang disholatkan di masjid ketika kuliah Dhuha sedang dijalankan dan masjid penuh dengan jemaah.

Bila sampai ajal kita, berpeluangkah kita diberi kesempatan begitu? Disholatkan oleh ramai kaum muslimin dan muslimat, di dalam Masjid lagi.

Belum tentu lagi......

********************************


Hari Asyura (10 Muharram) kita disunatkan berpuasa - 9 dan 10 Muharram atau 10 dan 11 Muharram. Aku dan Hubby memilih untuk berpuasa pada hari ini dan InsyaAllah, esok.

Ustaz memberitahu, ada banyak amalan-amalan sunat yang boleh dilakukan pada Hari Asyura. Amalan-amalan ini biasa dilakukan oleh para Ulama. Antaranya :-

1) Berpuasa

2) Menyenangkan hati orang-orang dekat dan kita sayangi

3) Perbanyakkan sedekah - Allah akan kurniakan kesenangan untuk satu tahun

4) Memuliakan fakir miskin - Allah akan menaikkan ekonomi kita sedikit demi sedikit.

5) Mengusap ubun-ubun anak-anak yatim
- Selepas sholat Maghrib, kita digalakkan mengusap kepala anak-anak dan isteri/suami, sambil membaca Bismillahirrahmanirahim sebanyak 21 kali dalam satu nafas
- Untuk melembutkan hati, pegang dada anak baca Surah Insyirah 3 kali

6) Mandi dan berhias diri

7) Potong kuku

8) Menziarah orang alim atau para Ulama

9) Menziarah orang sakit - doakan kesembuhan mereka and suruh mereka mendoakan kita kerana doa orang yang sakit sering dimakbulkan Allah

10) Perbanyakkan baca Surah Al-Ikhlas and Ayat Kursi

12) Perbanyakkan Istighfar dan berdoa

13) Jangan tinggalkan sholat Dhuha

14) Selepas sholat Maghrib, lakukan sholat Hajat dan sholat Taubat.

Itulah antara amalan-amalan yang dikongsi oleh Ustaz Shafi. Aku sekedar ingin berkongsi sama. Wallahu'alam....

********************************



Malam ini, Hubby mengajak aku berbuka puasa di rumah keluarganya. Kita akan kesana selepas Afrina pulang dari sekolah. Kalau aku rajin, aku nak buat jemput-jemput ikan bilis. Kalau tak rajin, bawak aje lauk-lauk yang ada. Jadi kita tak datang dengan tangan kosong.

:)

Saturday, January 27, 2007

ROMOS TIME

I don't care!!!



I just want to ROMOS babies!! Any baby will do.

And NO!! I am NOT going to make another one. I want to ROMOS someone else's babies.

Last Friday, I got the chance to ROMOS this chubby little girl. Even her mother could not stop me. Heh heh...!

Her name is DIAN AZURA. She is just like my Afiqah when she (Afiqah) was a baby - errrr..5 years ago. So chubby, so semangat, so super duper cute, her thigh looks like chicken drumstick, and so syiok to ROMOS!!! And i lurrveeeee baby's smell. Sigh....

Anybody got any baby for me to ROMOS??

Monday, January 22, 2007

CICAKO??

We had a date with CICAK MAN last weekend.



Now I know that cicak is afraid of rubber.

Ye ke?

It's the Abah that insisted we watched the movie, and it seems he enjoyed the movie more.....

Affandy slept half way thru....

I think this is the first Malay movie I watched since donkey years ago. Normally I will buy the VCD. But since this movie gets a lot of publicity, and Hubby wanted to bring the kids to watch, why not?

Well, even though Affandy slept before the movie ended, he declared himself as...

"AKU NI CICAK MAN!!!!"

Haizzzzz....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

SOOOOO LENGIT

I have my lengit days being a homemaker.

Today for instance, I simply do not have ANY idea what to cook. There's almost everything store in the freezer, but I just stared at them as though the freezing freezer is empty!

There's also a few types of vegetables in the fridge, yet I looked at them blankly.

Flipping through my dozens of recipe books doesn't help either. I'm not up to cook any of the recipes there.

Time is running up before I need to move my big butt to fetch my two younger kids from school. I have to think of something.....real fast.

I end up prepared FRIED RICE. Boleh gitu?

Hubby & I are fasting today, and I am sooooo lengit to cook any fancy dishes.

Hope the people in the house don't complaint.

Berani dorang complaint, nanti Ummi mogok baru tau!!

If my lengitness ends after I switch off my PC, I may be making some puff.

May be......

Maybe not.....

Maybe I will.....

See how lah!!

Monday, January 15, 2007

I CRY HARD.....

For once, I found a novel that touched my heart, made me cry, real hard.

I describe this novel as touching, heartbreaking, poignant, affecting, emotive, haunting, heartrending, tear jerking.....

After reading, the characters in the novel really haunts me, till now. They left a huge impact on me. I kept thinking about Hassan, Amir and Sohrab.

Deep in my heart, I was hoping that Amir got the chance to meet Hassan. But....*sob sob*

As highly recommended by her, I also extremely vouch for this novel. I just have to own this book. It worth reading over and over again.

If this novel can touch my heart, I'm pretty sure it will do the same to you....

"Do you want me to run that kite for you? For you, a thousand times over...."

Thursday, January 11, 2007

THIS IS WHAT I CALLED, PEACE.....

This only happened once in blue moon.....they napped at the same time!!




Affandy actually was waiting for me to play his favourite DVD, but he fell asleep before I could turn it on.

:)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

PEACE

So far so good. I'm striving to get use to my new routine. I got the hunch that I'm gonna like this year's routine more than last year.

The first week was a little bit relax for me, as I had Mr Beki to drive the kids to school in the morning as Afiqah and Affandy are in the morning session.

But on the second week, it's like, "You're on your own, dude"!

I left the house about 7.45 a.m to take two buses to their school. The bus from my place to Woodlands Interchange was super crowded as it was the peak hours for people going to work. Upon seeing this, I so not miss my working life (except for the pay check lah!).

Taking the bus from Woodlands Interchange to their school is not a problem, as there are a few buses I can choose from. We board whichever bus that comes first.

Once both of them are stuck in school (ha ha), I'm FREE!!!

Well.....not really.

I can do my marketing, in peace.....

I can have my breakfast, in peace......

I can cook, clean the kitchen, clean the house, clear the laundry, fold the clothes, iron some clothes etc., in peace.....

I can switch on the PC for a while to check my emails, in peace......

At 11.45 am, I'll walk Afrina to her school, and just in time for me to fetch the other two from school at 12.30 pm.

The peace ends here.

*faints*

Monday, January 08, 2007

I MISS YOU, YES, Y-O-U!!

I notice that after I switched to the other web address for a while, I've made quite a number of new friends. I even get to put Afiqah's ex-teacher as a contact. That's good, I lioke!!

But the sad thing is, I've lost touch with some of the bloggers here. Some who were close, but now no more. And it disturbs me. I'm a shy person by nature (ehem...), and it's not that easy for me to make new friends out of the blogging world.

Tu lah....apsal gatal pergi stop blogging. Padan muka aku!!

I may not have the luxury of time to bloghop everyday. But I can squeeze some time to visit here and there.

I WANT MY BLOGGER FRIENDS BACK!!!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

PRETTY UGLY

I simply HATE silent war, especially in my own abode.

Not a single word being uttered to each other.

Why am I being punished when it's nobody's fault? Why create this silence when we can voice out what's bothering us?

I don't wish to be ignored.

Friday, January 05, 2007

HERE AGAIN

OK, I'm back here :)

Call me itchy, I don't mind, I just wanna write.

Expressing my ramblings on the other web address, just don't give me the kick. Lately I have lots of things of my mind. I just need to vent them out and pen my thoughts down.

The contents of my blog this time round may be merepek, may be meaningful. It may be nothing to you, but like I said, I have to let it out.

I chose a simple web design, no more fancy dandy template. Dulu bolehlah, tengah kemarok!! Now dah maintainkan, so a simple one will do for me.

Please be nice, welcome me back :)

Heh heh........

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

FULL



It ends here.

Thank you for the friendship.

For those who wish to prolong our friendship, you know where to find me :)

**bows down**

Friday, June 23, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SON.....


I am THREE years old today.

PEACE!!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

................



Tonight is the night......he's coming HOME!!!!

Friday, June 09, 2006

THE BABY I ROMOS-ED

Can't get enough of romosing this tiny little adorable cute baby girl....

NUR KHAIRINA SOPHIA



Definitely will be back to romos her again. Siap kau Pe'ah.....

Thursday, June 08, 2006

FUN TIME

I had no idea where to bring my kids yesterday. I was so glad when my friend from Cyberibu, invited me to have lunch with her.

So yesterday, we brought our kids to lunch at Jurong Point. . BQ joined us too, even though only for less than an hour.

Coincidently, Jurong Point organized a meet-and-greet session with Ultraman Nexus. Though my kids are not a great fan of theirs, they just joined the queue to take some pictures with the Ultramans. Affandy and Afiqah were excited at first. But when the crowd was getting bigger, they changed their mind. So only Afrina and Naufal took photo with them. Due to the crowd, the kids were allowed only one shot. We queued for more than half an hour, the meeting session took less than 30 seconds. Chet!

Anyway, I'm glad that the kids had their fun. I had fun chit-chating with my friend too. Click on the photo to view more pics of the kids having fun.



I also would like to congratulate my dear friend, Aliyah on the arrival of her newborn daughter!! I shall visit her and the baby later in the evening. Yeah!! A baby to ROMOS!!! I lioke........ Heh heh.....

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

HOME SWEET HOME

Alhamdulillah, we reached home safely at 10.30 pm last night.

Despite the hot wheather, the overall tour was good. My and the kids had a good time there.

The best part was the shopping!! Fuhyoh....! It was heaven!

If I never think of the heavy luggages to carry home, I might continuously shop and shop till I drop!

Even though Hubby was not with us, I think I could manage on my own. With some helps from my aunt and my cousin, I think I did alright. Of course I wished Hubby was with us, but I might be going to a short tour on my own again. InsyaAllah....

The shopping bags and luggage bags are still sitting in my room. And I have loads of laundry to do. In the meantime, you may click and view the photos....

Friday, June 02, 2006

OFF WE GO!!



Off we go to Trengganu/Cherating!

We will be back on Monday, InsyaAllah......

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

THE THIRD DAY

Today's the third day Hubby is far away from us. I was so relieved and happy when he called from his hotel yesterday morning. So good to hear his voice again.

Our local time is eleven hours ahead, so right now he may be having his dinner. It's already Wednesday morning here, but it's still Tuesday night there.

I have still not fully recover from my cold. I pray so hard that I'll be alright before my trip to Trengganu/Cherating this Friday.

Since Afiqah and Affandy were not with us yesterday, Afrina was bored. So I brought her to lunch at Cafe Galilee at Woodlands Library. We also spent our time reading books at the library. Less than an hour, I had to leave the library as I could not breathe. My nose is so blocked that I just wanted to take my medicine and sleep. We went straight home after that.

My MIL sent Afiqah and Affandy only early this morning, instead of yesterday. Once Affandy got into the house, he hugged me tight and kissed me. He missed me, for sure.

I have no plans yet for today. Maybe we'll just stay home. Maybe I'll bake cup cakes for the kids. Maybe we'll have the DVD marathon. Maybe I'll just lie down on my bed for the whole day. Maybe I'll clear all the housework before I leave for my trip. Maybe I'll just face the PC all day. Maybe......

I want my HUBBY!!!!!!

Monday, May 29, 2006

SO WE START MISSING HIM....

Hubby left to States this morning at 4.15 a.m. Everytime we went to the States, I would surely cry. I was not like this when he travelled to Penang. Maybe because the States is about 18 hours journey while Penang is only 1 hour. As usual, once he stepped out of the house with his luggage, I felt so empty inside.

To make matter worst, I'm down with flu and cough. And I had a fever yesterday. Just imagine, being sick with 3 kids at home, and hubby is not in town. Haizz....

Affandy woke up this morning and asked about his Abah. I can sense his sadness when I told him that Abah has fly off to US. All day long, he played on his own. He arranged all his toy vehicles in a single line, and stared at them, one by one. He always do that when he plays alone. He misses his play partner, his Abah.....

Hubby made a short call home when he transited at Japan just now. I asked Affandy if he wanted to talk to his Abah, he refused to talk, but he cried instead. I knew that instance, he just wanted his Abah to be home with him.

My MIL called up offered to take care of the kids while I rest since I'm ill. Part of me wanted to take the offer so I can have a peaceful recovery. But on the other hand, I'll lose my sanity if I were to be alone. I don't want to sleep alone.

Since Afrina is big enough to decide on her own, I asked if she wants to sleep over at her Nenek's place. She chose to stay with me.....

So MIL came and picked Afiqah and Affandy just now. Hopefully when Affandy sees his uncle (my younger BIL) and his Atuk, he will not miss his Abah that much. He just need a father figure to play with him.

Oh dear, now I'm starting to miss my Hubby, Afiqah dan Affandy......badly.

Friday, May 26, 2006

THE GOOD AND SAD NEWS

I have two news to share.....

The good news is, it's confirmed that Hubby will be in US for only two weeks. Yeah!!!

And the sad news is....

After the US trip, he will only be in town for one pathetic week. Then he'll fly off again to Kulim, Penang for another two weeks. Booohooooohoooo......!

Why oh why oh why.........

Starting from Monday, for two weeks, I shall start to *sob* feel kerinduan *sob*....

And also.......*tuang air kat badan*




Hot lah!! Not "dry"!!! *tongue out* These few days the weather is hot what!!!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

PRAY HARD

Hubby informed me yesterday that he MIGHT be travelling to the States for two weeks only.

He stressed that he MIGHT, so no definite confirmation yet.

I pray so hard that he'll be away for two weeks only, please please please.

Supaya ku tak kekeringan, eh salah, tak kerinduan di sini.....

Heh heh.....

Monday, May 22, 2006

BUSY WEEKENDS

Oh yes, my weekend was full of fun. Even though Hubby got to work, I still had my fun. I attended TWO gatherings!!!

Saturday, 20 May 2006 - KO Gathering



This was what I called an impromptu gathering. We only confirmed to meet up on Friday afternoon. BabyHD readily offered her place and prepared food for us.

Meeting this group of ladies, as usual, no need to behave. But of course, only if all the hubbies not around. The main reason we met up, was just to eat and eat and eat. Not to forget, to mess up BabyHD's place. Hahahahaha......! I was glad that my kids were so good in doing that!

To KOkza, kita nak piat telinga awak ek!!!


Sunday, 21 May 2006 - KMC Gathering



This meet-up was named as KMC - Kecohrable Mommies Chatters. We started by chatting at MSN and this was the first time we met. Though it was the first time, the kecohness was there.

I, as usual, maintained shy for the the first meet-up. Heh..heh...

But the host, Mama Dewi, made me feel so welcome and kept asking me to eat and eat and eat!! Sampai tak bernafas aku, Dewi! :-)

********


To both groups of ladies, I had so much fun with each and all of you. Thank you for the company. All of you really made my day!

More photos can be viewed here. Enjoy!

Friday, May 19, 2006

MAKAN PER......

It all started with a tag at her blog. I jokingly asked her to deliver her Roti Kirai as it appears in her weekly menu. And she did!! Pakai mangkok tempen lagi.


She sms-ed me at 7.00 a.m in the morning and asked me to come down and collect from her. I was speechless. I was joking and she really prepared some for me. Awww....so sweet of her.


Kari Ayam sampai dua set ah......


Siap dengan Salad sekali.....


I salute you Pol. You as a working mother, still got time to prepare all those. Thank you......

Takkan nak kasi balik mangkok tempen kosong eh? Let me think of something to repay your kindness. In the meantime, let me enjoy your yummylicious Roti Kirai.

Yang lain takmo jeles hah!! Kalau nak makan free, rajin-rajin tag kat blog dia. Heh heh.......

Thursday, May 18, 2006

THE MIXED FEELINGS

At this moment, my feelings are mixed.

I am happy, relieved, anxious, excited and sad.

I am so happy and relieve as Afrina has her exams results already. Alhamdulillah, she passed all the subjects. Her marks are all above my expectations. I am very proud of her. I really pray that she will remain focus and excel in her studies.

What I want to know now is, where she stands in her class. And this makes me anxious. I have to wait for her record book to find out. And that will be next week, I hope.

Like I said, I'm excited as I will bring my kids to a short trip without Hubby. Not far, I shall start with Trengganu/Cherating for a start. Hopefully everything will turn out well as planned, InsyaAllah.

It's really sad to know that Hubby will not be with us for the whole June school holidays. I feel like it's kind of waste. All these while, we have been looking foward to the school holidays, so that we can go holiday as one family. But his working schedule spoil our plans.

I may appear ok in front of Hubby, but deep in me, I do not want him to go.

Lately, he has been travelling so often. He only stays home maximum of two weeks, then he flies off again. Bear in mind, he still has to work during the weekdays and even weekends.

I know I should be grateful that he got a job, so we can live comfortably and financially secure. But, I wish he's at home more often to be with us. To spend quality time with us.

To tell the truth, when he's out of town, I feel that....I shoulder the responsibility to bring up the kids, alone. I am the mother, and I also have to act as a father too. No doubt that he called often when he's away, and I updated him on our wherebeings, but it's not the same when he's home. He's not here to see the changes and developments on our kids. And that makes me sad.....

Thursday, May 11, 2006

IT'S FINALLY O-V-E-R

Afrina's exams are over!! Yeah!!!!

I've completed Project L1!! Double yeah!!!!

And and and.....Hubby's home!!!! ***banana dance***

I am a very happy woman!!

I will not start on my Project L2 until later date. I need a break.

I DESERVE a break.

I have so much plans for the June school holidays. The sad thing is, Hubby will not be around for the whole school holidays. What a waste!!

I intend to have fun with the kids. He will still be missed, but we can't just stay at home and wait for his return. We can die of boredom at home.

So, I am going to be a little bit adventurous this time. For the first time, I will bring my kids out of our little country, without Hubby. Not sure if I can, but I'll try. Hopefully I can handle them on my own. I know I can. Errr....can I?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

IT'S NOT OVER....



Will be back once these two are over....Insya'Allah.