I'm feeling better now. For those who were concerned, thank you.

I went out with two mommies from this group just now. Even though I brought my 3 kids along, I feel relaxed. Alhamdulillah, they behaved today. We went out to get things for my "new hobby" (which I do not want to reveal now). InsyaAllah, I will start doing "it" next week. Hopefully when "this thing" is ready, it gonna make me feel proud. And I hope darling hubby will give me full support in doing "this" and I want him to be proud of me. I do not want to be just a "stay at home mum". I want to be someone who knows how to make full use of time and doing something valuable. InsyaAllah, with Allah's guidance and permission. 

I'm also looking foward tomorrow to meet up hubby's buddies with their wives. She is one of them. We planned to have dinner and after that hang around at my place. It's been a long time since we went out together. I'm sure it's gonna be fun.

The flu virus is in the house!!! The kids got it and now it's my turn. Even how many Vit C you swallowed, if your immune system is low, you can't escape from it.

Look at this....


The chubby little princess of the house...Princess Afiqah did this!!! While I was tidying the living room, she messed the kitchen.  She took out all the plastics from the kitchen drawer. Was it fun to make a mess? At her age...everything against the rules are fun!

And who else helped me to clear the mess? The big sista...aka Princess Cinderella (she loves when people called her this). Didn't I tell you she's a real gem?

Ask any stay at home mum, what can make their day? As for me...no cooking means more time for me! I don't have to think what to cook, at least for today.

Today is hubby's off day, so he planned for us to go out in the afternoon. I asked him if is it ok if I don't cook today, he said.."alrite, kita makan luar". YAHOOOOO!!!! I longed to eat the Satay Burger from KFC.  Hopefully we can have our lunch at KFC.  I want to eat the Coleslaw, Whipped Potato, Fries, Chicken Popcon...and my favourite drink...ICE MILO!! Yummy..... (How to stay slim like that ???)  But we don't eat at these fast food restaurants frequently...only once in a while.  So bila dah masuk..bayar niatlah!!!

SO KFC...here I come....!

SHE IS JUST A CHILD....

Yesterday, Afiqah, my second daughter and Affandy were taking their afternoon nap.  My first daughter, Afrina, was memorizing her spelling while I was chatting with one of my friends in the net.  Afiqah woke up crying when she realized I was not beside her.  Hearing his sister cried, Affandy woke up crying too.  I was hoping both of them would stop crying once they realized that they had each other in the same room.  But fat hope! They came to me for attention while I was "enjoying" chatting.  Both of them wanted to be carried. How was I supposed to do carry both at once?
 
Then, to my surprised, Afrina put down her spelling list and came to us.  She said, "Come...satu orang ikut kakak. Mari kakak dukung. Semua orang asyik nak Ummi, takde orang nak kakak. Stop crying. Ummi kan lagi work kat computer tu.  Come Affandy ikut kakak." She carried her brother.
 
Only God knows how I felt at that moment.  Ashamed (as I was not busy doing "work"), proud, relieve and happy.  My God...she is only 5 years old.  Yet she behaved like grown up and willing to take responsibility.  I was speechless.
 
I remembered when I was 5, I was still being pampered by my grandparents (I was looked after by them).  I don't remember being asked to do anything nor I offered to help.  But my girl is different.  She loves to help around even though she is not required to do so.  She would washed her own plate after meal.  She swept the floor when leftover tidbits was all over.  She helped to wash her sister's hands.  There are so many things for me to list down.  She may be naughty at times, but I realized she has become a responsible and helpful little girl.  Ya Allah..I love her more and more seeing her growing up.
 
At times, when she was concentrating doing her things, I would just stare at her.  Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean to brag about my own flesh and blood. But..Ya Allah...she is so beautiful.  And when she smiles, her dimples show on both her cheeks.  When I looked at her, I see myself there cause she looks just like me.  With her curly hair and small eyes.  Thank you Allah for creating her for me.  I admit, I used to scold her the most as being a big sister, she should set good example to her siblings.  But I tend to forget that she is just a child.  She deserves some respect, the way she respected me.  And most of all, she loves me unconditionally.
 
I love you..Nurin Izzah Afrina....just the way you are.

DOA SEORANG ISTERI

Ya Allah
Kau ampunilah dosa ku yg telah ku perbuat
Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yg tiada terbatas
Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan mental
Kau kurniakanlah aku dengan sifat keredhaan
Kau peliharalah lidahku dari kata-kata nista
Kau kuatkanlah semangatku menempuhi segala cabaranMu
Kau berikanlah aku sifat kasih sesama insan

Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah pilihan Mu di Arash
Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah suami yg akan membimbing tanganku dititianMu
Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah bidadara untuk ku di Jannah Mu
Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat tunduk dan tawaduk akan segala perintahnya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah yang terbaik untukku di DuniaMu
Peliharalah tingkah laku serta kata-kataku dari menyakiti perasaannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati olehMu
Berilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala kerenah dan ragamnya

Tetapi Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini ditakdirkan bukan untuk diriku seorang
Kau tunjukkanlan aku jalan yg terbaik untuk aku harungi segala dugaanMu
Sekiranya suami ku tergoda dengan keindahan dunia Mu
Limpahkanlah aku kesabaran untuk terus membimbingnya
Sekiranya suami ku tunduk terhadap nafsu yang melalaikan
Kurniakanlah aku kekuatanMu untuk aku memperbetulkan keadaannya
Sekiranya suami ku menyintai kesesatan
Kau pandulah aku untuk menarik dirinya keluar dari terus terlena

Ya Allah
Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku
Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kesilapan dan keterlanjuranku
Sekiranya aku tersilap berbuat keputusan
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai isteri
Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhiratMu
Sekiranya aku engkar dan derhaka
Berikanlah aku petunjuk kearah rahmatMu

Ya Allah sesungguhnya
Aku lemah tanpa petunjukMu
Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu
Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu
Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu

Ya Allah
Kuatkan hati dan semangatku
Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu
Jadikanlah aku isteri yang disenangi suami
Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu
Bimbinglah aku menjadi isteri Soleha

Hanya padaMu Ya Allah ku pohon segala harapan
Kerana aku pasrah dengan dugaanMu
Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku
Kerana aku insan lemah yg kerap keliru
Kerana aku leka dengan keindahan duniamu
Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi cabaranMu
Kerana pendek akal ku mengharungi ujianMu

Ya Allah Tuhanku...
Aku hanya ingin menjadi isteri yang dirahmati
Isteri yang dikasihi
Isteri yang soleha
Isteri yang sentiasa dihati
Amin Ya Rabbi Allamin...

What's The Menu?

Everyday and everynight, I have to think and think and think...what should I cook for the family? Even though dear hubby is not fussy, still I want to prepare a good meal for him and my kids. But sometimes, I really don't have a clue what to cook.

Life was easier when before I became a stay at home mum. I don't have to worry about the menu, cause it was all being taken care of. I used to send my girls to their baby-sitter just the next few blocks away from mine. This generous and beautiful lady, which my girls call her "Ibu", will prepare for me and hubby dinner. She is a very good cook. She said she didn't charge for the food as she always cook extra. But I insisted paying her for the food. And the menu changed everyday. Even weekend, she would send her boys to deliver the dishes to my house. Isn't she sweet?

But that was last year...now I'm on my own. Got to crack my brain to think of the dishes to prepare. Sometimes I refer to the recipes book that I have (a lot of them), but still couldn't decide. I always have to cook two dishes - one for me and hubby, and the other for the kids. Dishes for kids would always be soup, lemak, kicap, bening, soup, lemak, kicap, bening ...sampai I naik jelak nak masak! Luckily, the kids never complaints.

Today, I decided to cook Ayam Briyani and Fishball + Cauliflower + Tomato Soup. That's it! But tomorrow.......?

MY BLISSFULL MARRIAGE

Alhamdulillah....yesterday was my 7th year wedding anniversary.

Time flies really fast. I've been a wife for 7 years and blessed with a wonderful husband, two beautiful daughters and a charming son. I am very grateful to Allah s.w.t. Thinking back all those years...can't believe that I have come this far. Being a wife is not easy...being a good wife is much more difficult. So many things that I have learnt in this marriage. This marriage has formed me into a "real person". It taught me all about love, responsibilities, and sharing. Of course, every marriage there are ups and downs, but in the end, love that all matters. I believe that love can do wonders.

Just to remind myself what we have achieved so far in this marriage ~

1997 ~ Legally married and honeymoon at Gold Coast Australia and Medan. We also went to Mekah to perform Umrah.
1999 ~ Nurin Izzah Afrina was born. And we moved to our own house.
2002 ~ After years of trying, Nurin Haida Afiqah was conceived and born.
2003 ~ We were blessed with a son unexpectedly, Muhammad Baqir Affandy.

Alhamdulillah, I have everything and I couldn't ask for more. Thank You ALLAH!!!

I really had fun yesterday. We went out with our kids to celebrate. We went to Esplanade and the children was happy to see the Merlion. It's been years since I went to that place. A lot have changed. We took some photos and walked from one end to the other. Luckily the weather was cloudly yesterday.

Then we have our dinner at Breeks. They served halal western food. That was the first time I ate there. Not bad! But the children enjoyed more cause with all the fried foods they served. We reached home before nine and straight away I put them to sleep. So I have some time alone with hubby......(wink)

Imagine this scenario.......

"Last night you had a quarrel with your husband. You slept with your child and he slept alone. No goodnight kiss, no feeling of warmth in his arms, no words of love. Only anger accompanied you to sleep.

Morning came....you were willing to forget and forgive, hoping he would do the same. You didn't mind to make the first move to approach him. You went to the room and sat beside him on the bed. You just sat there quietly and watched him sleep. He had a kind of sad look on his face. Your heart ached to touch him and to say you were sorry. You touched his hand...it felt so cold. You kissed his lip...you couldn't feel his breath. Your heart was beating faster. You called his name...he didn't answer. Could he had...left you...without any last words? Then you realized, it's too late...he's gone. All those things that you wanted to tell him, left unsaid. No words could explain how you felt at that moment. Only tears ran down. Regret? Angry? Devastated?"

In this life, we always take our loved ones for granted. We fail to cherish every moment when we are together, only to realize that sometimes its too late. We always thought that, there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow will be waiting for us. But what if it never comes? What would you do? Why it's so difficult to whisper the words of love when you are angry? Many forget that love can do wonders. Never wait for special moment to express your love...cause with love, every moment are special.

WOODEN BOWL

Someone sent me this....a great way to remind ourselves.


A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating and food on the floor.

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four year old grandson watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four year old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Nothing much happened in my life lately...just the usual thing. Nothing interesting, nothing to brag about.

With regards to my last posting, few friends from Cyberibu gave me some good advise. Children need attention. I noticed that my girls would start to quarrel when I was busy doing the housework. I thought that after all the jobs done, I could sit with them and join them. But I guess I was wrong. The chores would never end. I should learn to priotize things to be done first. And most important, I have to learn to control my temper. It ain't easy but I don't want to be labelled as "wicked witch" (wink to sotong). I am not that bad as a mother right?

As today is a school holiday and hubby's off day, we went to JB. At first we thought of bringing the kids to Choa Chu Kang Swimming Complex but it closed on Monday. What a waste! Anyway I had fun today. We had our lunch at a restaurant called "Vito" at Angsana. They served Italian food by buffet. I love to eat spaggeti. But I think it would be a waste for us cause we are not a big eater. Afrina and Afiqah were charged for the meal but at half price.

One more thing, for those who are "hungry" for my updates, please bear with me. I am not a good writer and it's not easy for me to pen my thoughts. Sometimes I wanted to write something but instead I just stared at the monitor with my fingers ready on the keyboard. I have a lot of things on my mind to share with but when I faced the PC, I just don't know where to begin. In the end, I gave up. I would rather read your blogs than waiting for all those ideas to come. All these blogging things are new to me and I'm still learning. Please bear with me. (Am I being too humble?)

Patience...patience

Somebody out there....please teach me how to be patience!!!

Budak-budak kat rumah ni betul-betul menguji kesabaran aku. Asyik bertekak aje! Satu hari tak bergaduh, tak sah. Gaduh mulut tak pe, tapi kalau dah jalan tangan, macamana? Si kakak tak nak mengalah, si adik lagi terror - main cekau dan tarik rambut. Bila dah baik, kalahkan best friend...so loving. Tapi bila gaduh..hai...

If I follow my heart, I don't wish to find out who's at fault. Just wanna pinch and hit them hard. But I'll feel guilty after that. Make me worst than a step-mum in old movies. There was once when I could'nt take it anymore when they quarelled, I just sat in front of them and cried. I didn't want to scold them, didn't want to beat them. I'm just tired...with the never-ending house chores.

"Dear girls..Ummi loves both of you very much. But sometimes Ummi has to be a very wicked mum when I'm angry. I'm sorry that I beat both of you just now. It hurts me too. But I couldn't control my anger when both of you shouted at each other while your little brother was asleep. You girls woke him up. So I hope you learnt your lesson."

Lega dapat luahkan perasaan yang meluap-luap ini. So..kawan-kawan yang ada anak...kasi tips please...

LOOK AT THOSE TOYS!!

Dear friends..meet my son...Affandy. Surrounded by his presents..toys, toys, toys...

Before opening....


After opening....


Say hi to everyone....

WHERE ARE MY GIRLS???

My two adorable girls are still not back from their holidays yet! They were supposed to return yesterday, but they are still at my in-laws' house at JB. I really miss them so much. This house is so quiet without their bickering at each other, their laughter and their demand. Sometimes I wonder, do they miss me?

Yesterday was Affandy's 1st birthday. He can stand up on his own now, hopefully he can learn to walk soon. I can see that he miss his sisters also.

I had a lunch date with my husband yesterday. It's so awkward to eat with just the three of us. Later at night, my hubby's buddy came by to our house with his girlfriend. She is so tall, taller than my hubby in fact. But she is so sweet and very friendly. We became friends immediately and I like her a lot. We went to Mustafa Centre (yes chapati, again) and had our dinner there. And guess what, we bought a new 14" colour TV!!! The old one was out of order for so long and we were TVless in our master bedroom. Come to think of it, why a 5-room flat needs to have 3 TV's?

Later today I planned to bring Affandy to Changi Airport to send off my 2 aunts and uncle to Umrah. I really hope I can go to Umrah again. Mecca is a very beautiful and peaceful place. Insya'Allah...one day we will go one whole family.

I'M BACK!!!

Yes, I know...I should update. Been verrrry busy to really sit down and type. Well..here I am!

Where should I start? Sunday...was a very hectic and busy day. I celebrated my son's 1st birthday (even though his exact birthdate will be tomorrow, 23rd). A lot of guests came in and out...and I think I was a very lousy host. For those who came..sorry if I couldn't entertain you much. And thank you very much for coming to celebrate and for all those lovely presents and $$$$!!! Affandy got a lot of toys and the problem now..I don't know where to put them!

I was delighted when my friends from Cyberibu came. Thanks kawan-kawan, you girls ROCK!

I also would like to express my appreciation to my darling cousin, Linda, who sponsored the birthday cake. It's sooo yummmyyyy!!!! Thanks girl!

By the way, my in-laws "borrowed" my two little princesses that night. They promised to "return" them on tomorrow. I miss the girls sooo much!

Monday....was cleaning day. Washed all the "perioks", vacuuming, mopping, rearranging the furniture, washing the laundry...and the list goes on and on and on and on....PENAT TAU!

Today I feel sad. I went to visit my cousin brother in hospital this afternoon. There's a tumour grow in his stomach that had already spread. He got 4 lovely kids and he is the sole breadwinner. When I spoke to his wife, I was touched when she said, "I have to be strong cause I know he needs me more than ever." When I went home, I tried to imagine me in her shoes. Can I be as strong as her? Who would be there for me if this happen to me? Sometimes, we always take things for granted when our loved ones are around. I am very ashamed of myself. I pray that Allah will guide me to become a good and "more tolerance" wife. May Allah strengthen my faith and dismiss my pride. May Allah protect my family, relatives and friends that I loved. Amin....

So many things are on my mind today. And I can't think straight. I understand now life will never always be perfect even how hard you tried. Like I've said, I'm Not A Superwoman. Please understand.....

I try not to think about my problems right now. At the moment, I still have a lot of things to do. This Sunday is my son's birthday party. I hope everything will turn out well. I'm quite excited actually. When I think about the gifts and presents that Affandy will get...(eee tak malu ummi ni). Time flies so fast...my son is turning 1 soon.

This is the photo of my kids taken on last Hari Raya.

I'M NOT A SUPERWOMAN :-(

Early in the morning I put breakfast on your table
And make sure that your coffee had it sugar and cream
Your eggs are over-easy, you taste it lightly
What missing is your morning kiss that you used to greet me

Now you see the juicy sour, that it used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder if you're talking about me
We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurting so deep....
I got my pride, I will not cry
But its making me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And thinks that everything's ok
Boy I am only human

I rushed my way thru the rush hour just to make it for you
I want to make sure your dinner will be waiting for you
But when you get there, you just say you're not hungry at all
You said you rather read the paper and you don't want to talk

You like to say that I'm just crazy when I said that you've changed
I'm convinced I know the problem, you don't love me same
You just go and thru it all, and you're not being fair
I got my pride, I will not cry
But its making me weak

Baby look into the corner of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But I can't be the superwoman that you want me to be
I'll give my love, everlasting love
If you return love to me.....

I'M TIRED

I feel very tired today. So much things to do. With Affandy's birthday party just round the corner, still got a lot to do.

This morning, after sending Afrina to "kelas ngaji", I rushed back to cook as Dear Hubby is going back for lunch. Then I went again to fetch Afrina and with my 3 kids, we went to Vista Point to get the bread and milk. All of us were sweating as the weather was so hot today.

This morning also Hubby has brought down the curtains and I've washed them. I managed to wipe the windows and its soooooo dusty!!! Of coz I didn't open the grill, I don't dare. Just wiped the inside will do. The girls & I cleared their room. We threw away all the unwanted and broken toys. They have so many toys! Still have loadful of laundries to do and the list go on and on and on and on.....

Anyway, my good friend, Lin mentioned me in her blog entry today. Thanks Lin...I think you are great too!

What Did I Do Today?

Monday...I'm quite satisfied for the work done today. Finally after almost 6 years living in our own house, hubby asked the aircon man to service our air-conditioners. Years of complaining and nagging that our aircon was not that cold....now I got no more reason to complain. Thanks hubby..I appreciate what you have done..Love you muack!

And I have cleared the whole basket of clothes for ironing!!!! Well done Ummi!! My kids and I locked ourselves in my room and we switched on the air con (just serviced ok), we on the radio. The girls played dressed up with my tudungs, while my boy played by himself in his cot. The girls messed my room, but why should I mind. My heart melts watching them playing. As long as I can finished my ironing!

Hubby work afternoon shift today. Meaning we only can meet him the next morning coz by the time he comes back..all of us will be having our sweet dreams..I hope.

Ta...dah......

First of all...a million thanks to my friend, teacher, IT consultant, moderator..etc.. Without her, I would not be sitting here typing. And she was soooo patient with me all along. The layout was so beautifully done with my favourite colour..pink! Wow... I love you Zai...muack!

Hello frenz...

Welcome to my blog!! (Chapati - baru i berani go on air, he he). Hopefully I can make new frenz here and others can get to know me better.

Yesterday, I felt feverish. I missed my swimming lesson today and missed meeting my Cyber frenz. Hopefully Kak Gee is not angry with me coz I forgot to message her that I would be absent. Sorrryyy Kak Geee.... I feel better now but still weak. Gotta go!

Weekend!!!!

Saturday again....

Got a surprised call from bespren (lin)!!! Well...we only call each other when sumthings cropped up or...we're lazy to sms. Rite lin? The "F" family wanna come over to my house but hubby gotta work so...some other time she said. Spend my saturday at mum's hse. Seing my dad bedridden like dat...sigh...Pity my mum though. She got to take care of him. I've tried to help her out but...i can feel dat he's not comfortable wif me. Kept calling for my mum...Sad.

MIL "borrow" Afiqah for the weekend. Start missing her already.

Sunday..Yippee!!! Shopping Day!

Hubby, Afrina, Affandy & me (we miss Afiqah!) went to JB for our groceries shopping. All dat diapers, milk powder, titbits, shower foam, shampoo..etc..total we spent..RM$345.16!!! What!!! I felt guilty but we need those things rite!

Waiting for Afiqah to come back...Got to kiss her!