ALONE AND LONELY

I shouldn't let all my kids to sleep over at my in-laws' place, when Hubby is not in town. I should at least have Afrina stay with me, instead of sleeping alone, last night.

My parents-in-law insisted that all my three kids to sleep over at their house. They have some religious functions to attend and wished to bring the kids along.

Actually Afrina was reluctant to follow, as she wanted to keep me company. But MIL wanted all of them, just for one night. I could not bear to say no, so I told Afrina, it's only for a night. So, last night, I slept alone.

It was a BIG mistake.

I thought I enjoyed my time being alone at home, but I felt lonely instead.

It was alright at first, as I got to spend my time with some good friends on early part of the day.

But the loneliness hit me when I was alone.

I switched on the TV, but the TV watched me instead.

I bought some food for dinner, and yet it's so hard swallow. And the food was left unfinished.

I lie down on my sofa, and just stared at the ceiling fan.

Once a while, I kept looking at my kids' closed bedroom doors, hoping that they would come out from that rooms.

Yes, I miss the noise, I miss the bickering, the squabbling, the shouting, the whining, the laughing etc.

It's already bad enough that I miss Hubby, and I had to miss my kids too.

The pain and the yearning was so unbearable. And I tried so hard not to cry. I hate to cry alone.

I want my kids back!!! I called my in-law hoping that she would understand and send them back to me, but my kids were all asleep. So I slept alone, aching to hold and kiss them goodnight.

But that was yesteday. They are back now safely in my arms.

And things go back to square one - the noise, the mess, the spills.

This time it's ok, I want it to be that way. I want my kids to be here with me, waiting for their abah to return home (that will be another week).

Tomorrow will be the day that I have to send them to school on my own. I really hope the weather will be kind, so I can send them without much problem. I know it ain't easy at first, but the arrangement will become a routine once I get use to it.

So if you do not see any updates here for sometime, don't blame me, BLAME THEIR SCHOOL BUS OPERATOR!!!! They take away my free time!! Cheh...!