The Mixed Feelings

Right now, my feelings are all jumble up.

Sad, disappointed, anxious, happy, angry, hurt, worry, confident, empty, missing....

So many things happened after my last update.

I attended the two-days workshop by Shaykh Yahya Rhodus, and I can still hear his soft voice and remember the knowledge that he shared.

The feeling of being near with the people of Allah, Habib Umar,Shaykh Khalil Moore and others, is so indescribable.

The joy of having my sisters-In-Islam, inside Allah's houses, with the people of Allah, is beyond amazing. Speaking of my sisters-in-Islam, I am going to miss them terribly. My house is no longer a garden of Paradise on every Friday. And thinking of that, really makes me sad. But I am thankful that I have the chance to make my house a garden of Paradise, even though for a very short time. My house feels empty on Friday.

I can still hear the rhythm and beat at the Spiritual Jamming organized by SimplyIslam. Together with Shaykh Khalil Moore and Shaykh Usama Cannon, the Qasidah and Selawat. The du'a. The best part was, my husband and my three children were there too. It's kind of family outing with spiritual entertainment.

There's also a full version of Semarak Selawat with Ustaz Shafi at Masjid Sultan. As usual, it's full house and very crowded, yet it's very spirit-lifting and satisfying the soul.

Then I received a sad and yet happy news at the same time. The feelings are all mixed up now. Some questions have been answered and yet some are left hanging. Putting away all the hope and little disappointment, I just have to accept what's stored for me. Redha. I'll let Allah decides what's best for me, as HE is The All-Knowing.