THE MIXED FEELINGS

At this moment, my feelings are mixed.

I am happy, relieved, anxious, excited and sad.

I am so happy and relieve as Afrina has her exams results already. Alhamdulillah, she passed all the subjects. Her marks are all above my expectations. I am very proud of her. I really pray that she will remain focus and excel in her studies.

What I want to know now is, where she stands in her class. And this makes me anxious. I have to wait for her record book to find out. And that will be next week, I hope.

Like I said, I'm excited as I will bring my kids to a short trip without Hubby. Not far, I shall start with Trengganu/Cherating for a start. Hopefully everything will turn out well as planned, InsyaAllah.

It's really sad to know that Hubby will not be with us for the whole June school holidays. I feel like it's kind of waste. All these while, we have been looking foward to the school holidays, so that we can go holiday as one family. But his working schedule spoil our plans.

I may appear ok in front of Hubby, but deep in me, I do not want him to go.

Lately, he has been travelling so often. He only stays home maximum of two weeks, then he flies off again. Bear in mind, he still has to work during the weekdays and even weekends.

I know I should be grateful that he got a job, so we can live comfortably and financially secure. But, I wish he's at home more often to be with us. To spend quality time with us.

To tell the truth, when he's out of town, I feel that....I shoulder the responsibility to bring up the kids, alone. I am the mother, and I also have to act as a father too. No doubt that he called often when he's away, and I updated him on our wherebeings, but it's not the same when he's home. He's not here to see the changes and developments on our kids. And that makes me sad.....