The Tears

Ya Allah, aku terima undangan Mu...

Aku hadir di sisi Mu...

Aku serahkan diriku pada Mu...

Aku redha dengan segala pemberian Mu...



And I cried and cried and cried repeating the above.

Allah makes my last Sunday, a tear-shedding day.

A day to let out whatever was inside the heart.

I am grateful for that.


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I Am A Seeker.....

All these while, I didn't realize that I am actually a seeker. A seeker of solace.

Attending the Syekh Khalil Moore's short-but-full-of-knowledge lecture, last Saturday, really struck me. His words just stunts the mind. MasyaAllah....

What I learnt from him, in order to cleanse the heart, get rid of these ten detestable traits :-


1. enviousness

2. arrogance

3. hatred

4. backbiting

5. self-promotion

6. finds fault of others

7. finds joy upon knowing the bad news of others and vice-versa

8. hypocrisy

9. difficulty in accepting truth, plunged in own way, debating or arguing on the truth

10.ostentation, pretentious or showy


Can I cleanse my heart of those 10 traits?

And I'm still seeking, ya Allah.....



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Love At First Heard

If I did not make an effort to find knowledge, I will always be in the dark.

Yesterday I "forced" myself to attend a night kuliah at Masjid Al-Iman. And I fell in love with it!!

Among other things, I've learnt that :

(Allah creates) This earth is a place for us to sujood, so there is NO EXCUSE for us to not to perform sholat. Sholat can be done anywhere (not just in mosque), as long as the place for sujood is clean. The keyword Ustaz stressed was, NO EXCUSE.

Reminder to myself, don't make ANY excuse to skip Sholat, or to delay the Sholat. I believe that a busy life makes the Sholat harder; but the Sholat makes a busy life easier.

Beautiful, isn't it?


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The Simple Message

It's amazing how a simple message of LOVE received at 4.47 A.M....

can make me cry...

can make me wanna be so close to Allah...

can make me realized I am full of sins...

can make me feel how close I am to death...

can make me truly accept the fact that I am nothing in this world...

It all started from a message from someone who loves me, for the sake of Allah.

Jazakillah bi khair, to the sender of this message.

I love you too, for the sake of Allah.

The Silaturahim

I love them, for Allah's sake.

Though the meeting was only for an hour, it's all that we need.

The silaturahim.....

I have to put this up.

He's FIVE years old today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUHAMMAD BAQIR AFFANDY.

You are a precious gift from ALLAH, to me.....Alhamdulillah.

The Only Places I Wanna Go Again

and again and again and again and again .......

Madinah Al-Munawwarah AND Mekah Al-Mukaramah.

Period.

The heat, the striking hot weather, the burning skin, the rashes, the dust, the bleeding nose, the crowd...seems like nothing when I was inside the MOST beautiful places on earth, Masjidil Haram An-Nabawi AND Masjidil Haram Mekah.

MASYA'ALLAH....MASYA'ALLAH...MASYA'ALLAH is the only word I could write now.

I cried like baby when I did my last prayer at Masjidil Nabawi...

I cried so hard when I did my last prayer at Masjidil Haram...

I don't know when I can set my foot on those places again. InsyaAllah this coming Hajj? I don't know.....

What I know is that, I cried a lot at those two Masjidil Haram. Like I wrote in my previous entry, it's a journey of a million teardrops. And it was....

Back to reality, I have loads of laundry to clear.

I have 7 luggages to unpack.

I have more than 1000 photos to upload.

I have lots and lots of things to write and share.

But I can't do it overnight.

At this moment, I need rest. In my sleep, I want to dream of those two places.

I want to go back there.....

It's Gonna Be Different

My intention is only for ALLAH.

And I want to be there with my RASULULLAH.

I am leaving right after my Subuh prayers tomorrow. Everything is almost ready. I am touched by the visiting and unceasing do'a from all my fellow sisters-in-Islam. I cried hard for that.

If only I could bring all of them with me, I would.

This Umrah trip will be different from the one I went in 1997. I was young then. I went for the sake of going, and I was not there full-hearted.

This time it's gonna be different. I am ready and I submit and surrender myself to my Creator.....ALLAH.....

"Allah yang mencukupi segalanya. Dialah yang aku tuju. Dialah yang mencukupi segala sesuatu, Dialah yang mencukupi aku."

Please pray for me.... :'(