Every time I think about it, I'll have butterflies in my stomach. I could not really describe the exact feelings I'm having right now.
InsyaAllah, in less than a week, to be exact, next Monday, my spiritual journey begins. I'll be joining 3 million Muslims from all the over world, to the sacred and holy land. I have been invited by Allah, and I will fulfil the invitation with my whole heart.
While I am typing this, I have not even pack a single thing. I have the list of what to bring, but the luggage bags are still empty. I have so many things to settle before my departure, especially those related to my children. Not just their school books, bags, uniforms etc., I also have to prepare them for my one-whole-month not being with them. I do not have much problems with Afrina and Afiqah, as they seem to understand what I will be going through. But Affandy thought that I will be home by 10 p.m each night. He cried when I told him that we will be apart for one month. He even talked in his sleep by crying out "Ummi!! Ummi!!".
It's really hard to leave my children. That is my most greatest challenge. But I am determine and that cannot stop me. I am leaving behind all my precious world possessions - my children, my families and relatives, my friends, my house, my car, my books, my plants (yes, I grow plants) etc., for the sake of my spiritual journey to HIM. All of that are not mine anyway, they belong to HIM. HE could anytime take away all that from me. It's now between me and HIM.
I'll be lying if I say I am not scared. I am scared.
I pray for health, patience and smooth throughout my whole journey.
I seek forgiveness from all of you, those I have met and those I have not.
This may be my last entry until I come back, InsyaAllah.
Please keep me in your du'a.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
She Did It Again
Yes, Afrina did it again.
I have lowered my expectations on her exams results, yet she achieved beyond my expectations. She did very well in her final examinations. Way so much better than her mid-year exams.
Seriously, I never expect her to maintain her position in her class/school. It's the marks of each papers that matters to me. But to be one of the top students in her class, is a bonus to me.
I cried when she showed me her record book just now. I hugged and kissed her. I told her that I am very proud of her.
I have only Allah to thank. With HIS guidance and bless, my daughter has succeeded in what she has been working hard for. But I know my role as her mother doesn't end here. She still has a long way to go. And I promise I will be there for her.
I have lowered my expectations on her exams results, yet she achieved beyond my expectations. She did very well in her final examinations. Way so much better than her mid-year exams.
Seriously, I never expect her to maintain her position in her class/school. It's the marks of each papers that matters to me. But to be one of the top students in her class, is a bonus to me.
I cried when she showed me her record book just now. I hugged and kissed her. I told her that I am very proud of her.
I have only Allah to thank. With HIS guidance and bless, my daughter has succeeded in what she has been working hard for. But I know my role as her mother doesn't end here. She still has a long way to go. And I promise I will be there for her.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Quote of the Day
I read somewhere...
"If Allah grants your prayers,
He is increasing your faith.
If He delays,
He is increasing your patience.
If not,
He knows you can handle it!"
Subhanallah!!
"If Allah grants your prayers,
He is increasing your faith.
If He delays,
He is increasing your patience.
If not,
He knows you can handle it!"
Subhanallah!!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
His Khadijah
A man who solely works for Allah, requested everyone in the hall to recite Surah Al-Fatehah, specially dedicated to his wife. Softly and sincerely, he expressed his love to her.
He said she was his Khadijah.
He said that if someone else became his wife, she would have left him long time ago.
He said that his wife stood by him through all obstacles of life in spreading Islam.
He said she endured every single hardships with him.
They spent their honeymoon not in a hotel, but slept on a bus, in order for him to seek knowledge from 'Ulama.
He said she did not complain when they got no food to eat.
He said she accepted that he got nothing in the bank. All his earnings were spent on upholding Islam.
He said he was the most fussy man, but his wife took care of him just like his mother did.
He said she was the love of his life.
He said he could afford only this gift - DU'A.
The wife sat at one corner, listened and wept.
And everyone in the hall recited Surah Al-Fatehah specially for her.
That was my Ustaz's gift for his wife's birthday.
MasyaAllah, isn't?
His sincerity of love to his wife moved my heart.
He mentioned that she was his Khadijah.
His Khadijah.
And Khadijah was Rasulullah's s.a.w. love.
Subhanallah.
If my husband told me, sincerely and full of love, that I, was his Khadijah. I could faint. I could be in cloud nine. I could be in Heaven.
But reality check. What have I done so far to deserve that saying, from my husband?
Nothing.
I am far from being his Khadijah.
I am nothing and I have nothing.
I am a pauper who needs his blessings in order to be blessed by Allah.
But what I have for him, is my love, for the sake of Allah.
Allah makes him, my man, my Imaam.
Alhamdulillah.
He said she was his Khadijah.
He said that if someone else became his wife, she would have left him long time ago.
He said that his wife stood by him through all obstacles of life in spreading Islam.
He said she endured every single hardships with him.
They spent their honeymoon not in a hotel, but slept on a bus, in order for him to seek knowledge from 'Ulama.
He said she did not complain when they got no food to eat.
He said she accepted that he got nothing in the bank. All his earnings were spent on upholding Islam.
He said he was the most fussy man, but his wife took care of him just like his mother did.
He said she was the love of his life.
He said he could afford only this gift - DU'A.
The wife sat at one corner, listened and wept.
And everyone in the hall recited Surah Al-Fatehah specially for her.
That was my Ustaz's gift for his wife's birthday.
MasyaAllah, isn't?
His sincerity of love to his wife moved my heart.
He mentioned that she was his Khadijah.
His Khadijah.
And Khadijah was Rasulullah's s.a.w. love.
Subhanallah.
If my husband told me, sincerely and full of love, that I, was his Khadijah. I could faint. I could be in cloud nine. I could be in Heaven.
But reality check. What have I done so far to deserve that saying, from my husband?
Nothing.
I am far from being his Khadijah.
I am nothing and I have nothing.
I am a pauper who needs his blessings in order to be blessed by Allah.
But what I have for him, is my love, for the sake of Allah.
Allah makes him, my man, my Imaam.
Alhamdulillah.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Pearls Of The Heart
I have learnt that...
* We have to realize that we are in total denial of all of Allah's bounties to us. We choose to be thankful to human, rather to Allah.
* Without realizing, we've done "syirik" in thinking that human is the one who arranges our life in this world.
* While the truth is, "Rabb" is the ONE who arrange EVERYTHING.
* Feel the pain and difficulty when we try to arrange our own life and refuse to submit wholeheartedly to Allah.
* Just to thankful to ALL the bounties that Allah has grants to us.
* And just be thankful if we fell ill, even how critical is the illness, as there's hidden nikmah and rahmah from Allah.
* The heart is the sole cause for all the illness in our body. To have a healthy and clean heart, DO NOT HATE anyone, even to your enemy. Always forgive them and love them for Allah's sake.
Wallahu'alam....
* We have to realize that we are in total denial of all of Allah's bounties to us. We choose to be thankful to human, rather to Allah.
* Without realizing, we've done "syirik" in thinking that human is the one who arranges our life in this world.
* While the truth is, "Rabb" is the ONE who arrange EVERYTHING.
* Feel the pain and difficulty when we try to arrange our own life and refuse to submit wholeheartedly to Allah.
* Just to thankful to ALL the bounties that Allah has grants to us.
* And just be thankful if we fell ill, even how critical is the illness, as there's hidden nikmah and rahmah from Allah.
* The heart is the sole cause for all the illness in our body. To have a healthy and clean heart, DO NOT HATE anyone, even to your enemy. Always forgive them and love them for Allah's sake.
Wallahu'alam....
Saturday, November 01, 2008
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