Alhamdulillah.....I feel so relieve....
Allah has make it easier for me.
Hubby has spoken up for me and hopefully the message has been crossed over to the other party.
I've gain my privacy back, and it's a feeling the I could not describe in words.
Thank you Allah.....
Thank you Hubby for doing the right thing......
Monday, February 26, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
THE DILEMMA
I'm in dilemma. And I hate this situation. Whatever decision made, I'm at the losing side.
Sometimes in this life, you have to choose, either to consider other people's feeling or to think of only yourself.
I've been keeping mum about it since the day Hubby left Singapore. But now I can't hold it any longer. I do not want my discomfort becomes hatred.
At first I thought 'someone' is sincere to help me out since Hubby is not in town. But then I realized that 'someone' took Hubby's absence for granted. Hubby's absence is more to that 'someone's' advantage. The pity for me is questionable and unconvincing.
To make the story short, I don't feel comfortable at my own abode. My privacy has been breached.
It's so unfair to me.....
I don't need anyone else to take over Hubby's fatherly duties.
I'm confident that I can manage on my own when Hubby is not in town. I know Allah will protect me and my children. This is not the first time Hubby works oversea. Somehow I have survived those ordeals. Alhamdulillah.....
So, I have to do something. I want my privacy and my rights back. I am willing to face any consequences from the decision that I've made.
Please Allah......
Make this easier for me.....
Please strengthen my faith in YOU.....
Sometimes in this life, you have to choose, either to consider other people's feeling or to think of only yourself.
I've been keeping mum about it since the day Hubby left Singapore. But now I can't hold it any longer. I do not want my discomfort becomes hatred.
At first I thought 'someone' is sincere to help me out since Hubby is not in town. But then I realized that 'someone' took Hubby's absence for granted. Hubby's absence is more to that 'someone's' advantage. The pity for me is questionable and unconvincing.
To make the story short, I don't feel comfortable at my own abode. My privacy has been breached.
It's so unfair to me.....
I don't need anyone else to take over Hubby's fatherly duties.
I'm confident that I can manage on my own when Hubby is not in town. I know Allah will protect me and my children. This is not the first time Hubby works oversea. Somehow I have survived those ordeals. Alhamdulillah.....
So, I have to do something. I want my privacy and my rights back. I am willing to face any consequences from the decision that I've made.
Please Allah......
Make this easier for me.....
Please strengthen my faith in YOU.....
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFRINA
Happy 8th Birthday to my sweet honey, Afrina......
She is imaginative, kind, sympathetic, intuitive, visionary, sensitive, adaptable, receptive, a dreamer and romantic.
That's my AFRINA!!
She is imaginative, kind, sympathetic, intuitive, visionary, sensitive, adaptable, receptive, a dreamer and romantic.
That's my AFRINA!!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFIQAH
Happy 5th Birthday to my sweet darling, Afiqah......
She is friendly, independent, quirky, willing, progressive, an original thinker, inventive, creative, loyal, idealistic yet rational and unpredictable.
That's my AFIQAH!!
She is friendly, independent, quirky, willing, progressive, an original thinker, inventive, creative, loyal, idealistic yet rational and unpredictable.
That's my AFIQAH!!
Friday, February 16, 2007
AH CHONG & AH LIAN
My two youngest kids in their Chinese New Year costumes.....
AH LIAN
AH CHONG
Nak orange?? :)
AH LIAN
AH CHONG
Nak orange?? :)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
MISSING HIM.....
Hubby left for Kuching this morning.
Though he travels very often, I still feel the tinge of sadness and desolation when he is not around. I know I have my kids with me, I am not alone but I still sense the loneliness in me. It's just not the same......
Hubby will not be here on the long Chinese New Year holidays. I have make some plans for the kids on the holidays. I am not going to just laze around at home. I am going to bring the kids out to have fun.
Hubby also will not be here for our girls' birthday. I feel sad for them. Though Hubby had brought them birthday gifts in advance, he gave me the permission to buy another gifts for our girls. He never fail to please our kids.
During Hubby's absence, my major task is to wake Affandy and Afiqah up early in the morning and to send them to school. You know how grumpy kids will be when they are forced to wake up from their sleep. We have to leave house before 7.45 am in order to reach the school in time. I pray so hard that Allah will make my life easier on this.
InsyaAllah.......
Though he travels very often, I still feel the tinge of sadness and desolation when he is not around. I know I have my kids with me, I am not alone but I still sense the loneliness in me. It's just not the same......
Hubby will not be here on the long Chinese New Year holidays. I have make some plans for the kids on the holidays. I am not going to just laze around at home. I am going to bring the kids out to have fun.
Hubby also will not be here for our girls' birthday. I feel sad for them. Though Hubby had brought them birthday gifts in advance, he gave me the permission to buy another gifts for our girls. He never fail to please our kids.
During Hubby's absence, my major task is to wake Affandy and Afiqah up early in the morning and to send them to school. You know how grumpy kids will be when they are forced to wake up from their sleep. We have to leave house before 7.45 am in order to reach the school in time. I pray so hard that Allah will make my life easier on this.
InsyaAllah.......
Monday, February 12, 2007
WEEKEND FEVER
I'm not aware that fever is contagious.
It all started with Affandy. On Friday night, he started his whining and grouchy. He refused to eat his dinner. This is not his usual self. I knew something was not right,so I checked his temperature.
Arrrkkkksss.....It's over 38 degree celcius!!
And Saturday I had major plans for the kids. I prayed so hard that he would recover fast.
And he did!! Alhamdulillah....
So Saturday, after Afrina's madrasah class, we headed to a Fun Fair at Innova Junior Collage. Afrina brought her best friend, Ashurah, along. I bought two $10 coupons from Mummy Hestia (she's a teacher there). I thought two coupons were enough, end up we bought two more and a kind makcik gave us two more. I wanted to pay her but she refused to accept. She said she wanted to go home, might as well gave the coupons to the my kids.
So total we had 6 coupons!!
Some pictures to share the fun we had at the fun fair.....
Jumping up and down....
Eating chocolate muffins (specially baked by Hestia).....
Enjoying their ice-creams.......
Playing games.......
Quenching their thirst.....
Ummi cair under the hot sun.....
Ok, back to the fever.......
Later that night, Afiqah started to show signs of fever. I wasted no time in giving her panadol syrup and pasted cool-fever on her forehead.
Sunday morning her fever still there. We missed our weekly religious class, as Affandy just recovered and Afiqah was down with high fever.
Last night, Afrina's temperature shot up! Haizz...one after another. And I did not have a good sleep.
Affandy cried every hour due to his nose blocked.....
Afiqah woke up and threw up, and insisted to sleep beside me....
Afrina's temperature still high, even till now....
I have no choice but to let Afiqah and Afrina rest at home and skip school today. Only Affandy went to school this morning.
What a weekend.....
It all started with Affandy. On Friday night, he started his whining and grouchy. He refused to eat his dinner. This is not his usual self. I knew something was not right,so I checked his temperature.
Arrrkkkksss.....It's over 38 degree celcius!!
And Saturday I had major plans for the kids. I prayed so hard that he would recover fast.
And he did!! Alhamdulillah....
So Saturday, after Afrina's madrasah class, we headed to a Fun Fair at Innova Junior Collage. Afrina brought her best friend, Ashurah, along. I bought two $10 coupons from Mummy Hestia (she's a teacher there). I thought two coupons were enough, end up we bought two more and a kind makcik gave us two more. I wanted to pay her but she refused to accept. She said she wanted to go home, might as well gave the coupons to the my kids.
So total we had 6 coupons!!
Some pictures to share the fun we had at the fun fair.....
Jumping up and down....
Eating chocolate muffins (specially baked by Hestia).....
Enjoying their ice-creams.......
Playing games.......
Quenching their thirst.....
Ummi cair under the hot sun.....
Ok, back to the fever.......
Later that night, Afiqah started to show signs of fever. I wasted no time in giving her panadol syrup and pasted cool-fever on her forehead.
Sunday morning her fever still there. We missed our weekly religious class, as Affandy just recovered and Afiqah was down with high fever.
Last night, Afrina's temperature shot up! Haizz...one after another. And I did not have a good sleep.
Affandy cried every hour due to his nose blocked.....
Afiqah woke up and threw up, and insisted to sleep beside me....
Afrina's temperature still high, even till now....
I have no choice but to let Afiqah and Afrina rest at home and skip school today. Only Affandy went to school this morning.
What a weekend.....
Friday, February 09, 2007
ACHE HERE, ACHE THERE
Today, Ummi is not her usual self.
Her whole body aches, especially her right hand. This is due to the whole 2 hours of non-stop ironing yesterday. She ironed and ironed and ironed till there's no more hangers left. But the task was not fully completed as there's more to iron. *faints*
Migraine hits the right side of her head. She is trying so hard not to bang her head against the wall due to the pain.
She patiently waiting for Ibu Wati to come to her rescue at 3 pm today. Ibu Wati will press here, press there, tickle here, tickle there, kerok here, kerok there, everywhere on Ummi's body. And Ummi don't mind. Cause it's been almost six month since Ummi's body had been tortured like that. And Ummi liokkeee it so much.
Ummi's kitchen will also be closed today due to her lemau-ness. Lunch will be at McDonalds for the kids and dinner will be from Banquet. Abah is not allowed to complaint, or Ummi blood will go upstairs. When Ummi is angry, she will bite.
*Ummi looking at the clock* 10 o'clock only???
Her whole body aches, especially her right hand. This is due to the whole 2 hours of non-stop ironing yesterday. She ironed and ironed and ironed till there's no more hangers left. But the task was not fully completed as there's more to iron. *faints*
Migraine hits the right side of her head. She is trying so hard not to bang her head against the wall due to the pain.
She patiently waiting for Ibu Wati to come to her rescue at 3 pm today. Ibu Wati will press here, press there, tickle here, tickle there, kerok here, kerok there, everywhere on Ummi's body. And Ummi don't mind. Cause it's been almost six month since Ummi's body had been tortured like that. And Ummi liokkeee it so much.
Ummi's kitchen will also be closed today due to her lemau-ness. Lunch will be at McDonalds for the kids and dinner will be from Banquet. Abah is not allowed to complaint, or Ummi blood will go upstairs. When Ummi is angry, she will bite.
*Ummi looking at the clock* 10 o'clock only???
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
"NAK UMMI! NAK UMMI!!"
Hampir tiap-tiap malam, aku dan Hubby pasti akan hadapi masalah ini. Sudah macam-macam cara kami cuba, baik cara lembut atau keras, pun tak jalan jugak. Bincang punya bincang, kami pun nak cuba cara lain.
Kunci pintu!!! (Korang jangan nak fikir bukan-bukan) :)
Tiap-tiap malam bila tiba waktu tidur, Afiqah mesti melalak dan sedu-sedan. Pasal apa? Sebab, "nak sleep dengan Ummi"!! Umur dah nak masuk 5 tahun, masih nak tidur dengan aku. Bilik dia dah ada katil sendiri, cadar Barbie (dia sendiri yang pilih), favourite cushions and dolls, mainan-mainan, dan entah apa-apa lagi. Semua dah complete. Tinggal tidur aje. Mula-mula aje bersemangat nak tidur sendiri, tapi dia cari jugak aku. Bukannya dia tidur sorang dalam bilik tu, kakak dia pun ada. Dua anak dara dalam satu bilik, dah ok kan tu?
Bila dia dah dapat tidur sendiri kat bilik dia, aku dan Hubby pun suka. Tapi tau-tau bangun pagi, si Afiqah terselit kat tengah-tengah katil aku. Sebokkan? Entah bila dia merangkak masuk, kadang-kadang kita pun tak perasan. Tidakkah itu MERBAHAYA??
Jadi, tadi malam, bila Afiqah dah masuk tidur, Hubby kunci pintu bilik kita. Pukul 2 pagi, aku tersedar bila dengar ada orang cuba nak buka pintu. Mula-mula Afiqah cuba buka pintu dengan perlahan. Bila dia tak dapat buka, dia pun apalagi, HENTAK, TENDANG, PEKIK, MELALAK & MERAUNG!! Aku diamkan dulu, mana tau dia give up ke. Tapi makin lama, makin kuat pulak. Sebelum dia kejut orang satu blok ni, dan sebelum polis datang, nak taknak terpaksa aku buka pintu. Tapi aku tak kasi dia masuk.
Kalaulah korang dengar rayuan dalam tangisan dia, boleh cair......
Dalam sedu-sedan, dia merintih, "Nak Ummi, nak Ummi, nak Ummi....."
Kalau ikut hati naluri aku, memang aku nak peluk dia, cium dia dan bawa dia masuk bilik aku. Tapi nanti aku dengan Hubby pulak bertekak. Dalam detik itu, aku rasa aku harus tegas dalam keputusan aku. Aku nekad untuk suruh dia tidur di katil sendiri. Aku pimpin dia dan baringkan di atas katil. Dia bangun balik dan peluk aku erat-erat. Nak taknak aku terpaksa tinggikan suara dan suruh dia pilih, nak tidur kat katil ke kat store? Budak tu dengar aje perkataan 'store' terus naik katil dia. Dia masih sedu-sedan, aku pujuk dia suruh tidur sebab kejap lagi nak bangun untuk ke sekolah. Aku cium dia dan terus masuk tidur.
Pagi tadi bila Hubby keluar bilik untuk sholat Subuh, Afiqah pun masuk bilik aku. Aku rasa dia dah bangun awal, tapi tunggu Abah dia keluar bilik, baru dia berani masuk.
Malam ini aku nak kunci pintu bilik lagi. Mudah-mudahan Afiqah tak bangun malam lagi untuk cari aku.
Kunci pintu!!! (Korang jangan nak fikir bukan-bukan) :)
Tiap-tiap malam bila tiba waktu tidur, Afiqah mesti melalak dan sedu-sedan. Pasal apa? Sebab, "nak sleep dengan Ummi"!! Umur dah nak masuk 5 tahun, masih nak tidur dengan aku. Bilik dia dah ada katil sendiri, cadar Barbie (dia sendiri yang pilih), favourite cushions and dolls, mainan-mainan, dan entah apa-apa lagi. Semua dah complete. Tinggal tidur aje. Mula-mula aje bersemangat nak tidur sendiri, tapi dia cari jugak aku. Bukannya dia tidur sorang dalam bilik tu, kakak dia pun ada. Dua anak dara dalam satu bilik, dah ok kan tu?
Bila dia dah dapat tidur sendiri kat bilik dia, aku dan Hubby pun suka. Tapi tau-tau bangun pagi, si Afiqah terselit kat tengah-tengah katil aku. Sebokkan? Entah bila dia merangkak masuk, kadang-kadang kita pun tak perasan. Tidakkah itu MERBAHAYA??
Jadi, tadi malam, bila Afiqah dah masuk tidur, Hubby kunci pintu bilik kita. Pukul 2 pagi, aku tersedar bila dengar ada orang cuba nak buka pintu. Mula-mula Afiqah cuba buka pintu dengan perlahan. Bila dia tak dapat buka, dia pun apalagi, HENTAK, TENDANG, PEKIK, MELALAK & MERAUNG!! Aku diamkan dulu, mana tau dia give up ke. Tapi makin lama, makin kuat pulak. Sebelum dia kejut orang satu blok ni, dan sebelum polis datang, nak taknak terpaksa aku buka pintu. Tapi aku tak kasi dia masuk.
Kalaulah korang dengar rayuan dalam tangisan dia, boleh cair......
Dalam sedu-sedan, dia merintih, "Nak Ummi, nak Ummi, nak Ummi....."
Kalau ikut hati naluri aku, memang aku nak peluk dia, cium dia dan bawa dia masuk bilik aku. Tapi nanti aku dengan Hubby pulak bertekak. Dalam detik itu, aku rasa aku harus tegas dalam keputusan aku. Aku nekad untuk suruh dia tidur di katil sendiri. Aku pimpin dia dan baringkan di atas katil. Dia bangun balik dan peluk aku erat-erat. Nak taknak aku terpaksa tinggikan suara dan suruh dia pilih, nak tidur kat katil ke kat store? Budak tu dengar aje perkataan 'store' terus naik katil dia. Dia masih sedu-sedan, aku pujuk dia suruh tidur sebab kejap lagi nak bangun untuk ke sekolah. Aku cium dia dan terus masuk tidur.
Pagi tadi bila Hubby keluar bilik untuk sholat Subuh, Afiqah pun masuk bilik aku. Aku rasa dia dah bangun awal, tapi tunggu Abah dia keluar bilik, baru dia berani masuk.
Malam ini aku nak kunci pintu bilik lagi. Mudah-mudahan Afiqah tak bangun malam lagi untuk cari aku.
Friday, February 02, 2007
TOPIK HANGAT
Aku baru pulang dari berjumpa dengan dua orang rakan baik. Walaupun cuma kami bertiga yang ada, aku rasa terhibur. Tak lah boring sangat kat rumah. Lagipun hari ini hari Jumaat, kira besok tak payah stress pasal budak-budak pergi sekolah.
Antara topik yang kami bualkan, ialah pasal tunaikan fardhu haji pada usia muda. Setelah lama berkawan, barulah aku tahu rupanya S sudah pernah naik haji. Dia pergi pada usia yang amat muda dan sebelum berkahwin. Dia juga adalah seorang yang amat lembut tutur bahasanya dan teman yang baik. Beruntungnya dia sudah menjadi tetamu Allah muda-muda lagi....
N pula bercadang nak tunaikan umrah dulu sebelum haji. Aku pulak, tak kira haji ke umrah, aku ingin sekali lagi jejakkan kaki di tanah suci Mekah. Seandaikan ada kesempatan nak pergi Umrah, aku ingin bawak anak-anak aku sekali. InsyaAllah.....
Beruntung jugak aku dapat kawan macam N. Dia seorang guru yang bertauliah. Aku minta nasihatnya untuk membeli buku-buku assessment untuk anak-anak aku. Dari satu buku ke satu buku, belek punya belek, aku pun borong buku. Dia cakap nanti bila anak dah P3, kena belajar Science. Alamak! P2 pun aku masih terkial-kial nak ajar anak, apalagi nak fikir pasal P3. Itulah untungnya dapat member seorang teacher. Ada apa-apa masalah, sms aje! Boleh kan N? You're my fren... :)
Oleh kerana aku gemar menonton drama-drama melayu, entah macamana, topik sensitif pulak boleh terkeluar. Kita ada juga berbual pasal isteri yang dimadu. Kita cuba bayangkan jika perkara itu terjadi pada kita. Relakah kita menerima hakikat? Sudikah kita berkongsi kasih? Mampukah suami berlaku adil? Bagaimana dengan hati dan perasaan kita yang terluka? Aku rasa isteri tak akan bermadu jika suami tak curang belakang isteri. Tapi bila isteri dah dapat tahu suami dah jatuh hati pada wanita lain, haruskah isteri redha hubungan itu? Tiada siapa yang dapat memberi jawapan yang tepat.
Seorang teman aku, F, pernah cakap jika di akhirat kita nampak lelaki yang jalannya tempang, itulah suami yang ada lebih dari satu isteri tapi tidak berlaku adil. Suami jenis begini tak akan terlepas balasan di akhirat. Di dunia boleh suka-suka permainkan perasaan isteri, tapi di akhirat, jawablah nanti.
Aku rasa aku dah terlalu banyak menonton drama-drama Melayu kat TV. Macam terbawak-bawak pulak perasaan tu. Inilah kalau dah jadi surirumah. Sambil lipat kain ke, gosok baju ke, aku sambil-sambil tonton TV. Mata melekat kat TV, tapi tangan jalan jugak tau. Korang ingat surirumah ni macam tai-tai ke? Tak kerja tapi tiap bulan dapat duit dari suami. Habis jaga anak-anak, pergi pasar, masak, cuci lipat gosok kain baju, kemas rumah, hantar ambik anak-anak pergi balik sekolah, ajar anak-anak homework dan seterusnya, SEMUA TU BUKAN KERJA???
Aku ni sebenarnya tengah PMS, asyik nak melenting aje.....
Astaghfirullah'alazim.......
Antara topik yang kami bualkan, ialah pasal tunaikan fardhu haji pada usia muda. Setelah lama berkawan, barulah aku tahu rupanya S sudah pernah naik haji. Dia pergi pada usia yang amat muda dan sebelum berkahwin. Dia juga adalah seorang yang amat lembut tutur bahasanya dan teman yang baik. Beruntungnya dia sudah menjadi tetamu Allah muda-muda lagi....
N pula bercadang nak tunaikan umrah dulu sebelum haji. Aku pulak, tak kira haji ke umrah, aku ingin sekali lagi jejakkan kaki di tanah suci Mekah. Seandaikan ada kesempatan nak pergi Umrah, aku ingin bawak anak-anak aku sekali. InsyaAllah.....
Beruntung jugak aku dapat kawan macam N. Dia seorang guru yang bertauliah. Aku minta nasihatnya untuk membeli buku-buku assessment untuk anak-anak aku. Dari satu buku ke satu buku, belek punya belek, aku pun borong buku. Dia cakap nanti bila anak dah P3, kena belajar Science. Alamak! P2 pun aku masih terkial-kial nak ajar anak, apalagi nak fikir pasal P3. Itulah untungnya dapat member seorang teacher. Ada apa-apa masalah, sms aje! Boleh kan N? You're my fren... :)
Oleh kerana aku gemar menonton drama-drama melayu, entah macamana, topik sensitif pulak boleh terkeluar. Kita ada juga berbual pasal isteri yang dimadu. Kita cuba bayangkan jika perkara itu terjadi pada kita. Relakah kita menerima hakikat? Sudikah kita berkongsi kasih? Mampukah suami berlaku adil? Bagaimana dengan hati dan perasaan kita yang terluka? Aku rasa isteri tak akan bermadu jika suami tak curang belakang isteri. Tapi bila isteri dah dapat tahu suami dah jatuh hati pada wanita lain, haruskah isteri redha hubungan itu? Tiada siapa yang dapat memberi jawapan yang tepat.
Seorang teman aku, F, pernah cakap jika di akhirat kita nampak lelaki yang jalannya tempang, itulah suami yang ada lebih dari satu isteri tapi tidak berlaku adil. Suami jenis begini tak akan terlepas balasan di akhirat. Di dunia boleh suka-suka permainkan perasaan isteri, tapi di akhirat, jawablah nanti.
Aku rasa aku dah terlalu banyak menonton drama-drama Melayu kat TV. Macam terbawak-bawak pulak perasaan tu. Inilah kalau dah jadi surirumah. Sambil lipat kain ke, gosok baju ke, aku sambil-sambil tonton TV. Mata melekat kat TV, tapi tangan jalan jugak tau. Korang ingat surirumah ni macam tai-tai ke? Tak kerja tapi tiap bulan dapat duit dari suami. Habis jaga anak-anak, pergi pasar, masak, cuci lipat gosok kain baju, kemas rumah, hantar ambik anak-anak pergi balik sekolah, ajar anak-anak homework dan seterusnya, SEMUA TU BUKAN KERJA???
Aku ni sebenarnya tengah PMS, asyik nak melenting aje.....
Astaghfirullah'alazim.......
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